Hello Chap. 15

[kumo_is_kumo]

Title: Hello

Pairing: Jongkey

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Smut, Drama, Semi-Angst

Length: Series

Summary: They were young when it all happened; the young love, the separation, the sadness, the fake hurting words. They are matured now when it all happens; the second meeting, the hesitation, the fear of getting hurt, and… the bit of remaining love inside.

Chapter 15



“Kibum, do you have any plan for Saturday?” Jinki asks suddenly, driving into the intersection around Kibum’s apartment.

“No. Why?” Kibum mutters.

“I… I got this movie tickets from my cousin. Would you like to watch a movie with me?”

Kibum glances at him right at the time Jinki stops the car in front of his building.

“Lee Jinki,” he calls.

The male looks awkward.

“You don’t… you can’t possible asking me out for a date, can’t you?”

Jinki looks awkward and he glances away. “Uh, a… a friendly date?”

Kibum sighs, “Oh my God.” He opens the door and climbs out of the vehicle.

“Wait! Kibum!” Jinki scrambles with his seat belt before finally flying out to run after him.

As Kibum nears his building, Jinki stops him by grabbing onto his wrist and spinning him around. “Hear me out, okay?” He pants nervously.

“Jinki, please don’t sa –”

“I like you, Kibum. I have always liked you for so long!” Jinki blurts out, holding onto his wrist tightly.

Kibum’s eyes widen as he hears it. His friend likes him? How come he doesn’t realize or see the sign?

“Lee Jinki, you are kidding.” He takes a step back.

Jinki chews on his bottom lip nervously, before tugging him close. “I have always liked you. I don’t think I would tell you this but you seem sad and down and I just want to tell you that I will do anything to make you happy and lift your mood again. I don’t want to see you being so sad just because of one person.”

Kibum shakes his head. “No, you are mistaking your kindness with liking. Jinki, you don’t like me.”

Jinki looks conflicted before he pulls Kibum into a hug. Kibum yelps against his shoulder.

“Kibum, can you please give me a chance?”

“Look, Jinki, we don –”







His words stop and Kibum feels his breathe hitches when he sees a familiar car across the street.

That’s Jonghyun’s car.

And Jonghyun is standing, waiting beside it.







Kibum’s mouth parts as he wants to call for his name but no sound could come out.

Jonghyun stares at him with a gaze full of sorrow. He gives a supporting smile at Kibum before he gets into his car and drives away.

Kibum has never felt this kind of pain. It’s like he can hear his heart breaking into million pieces. Jonghyun had just left and he is doing nothing here? How come Kibum is just staring at him like this without trying to stop him?

It’s really over, isn’t it?

“Look, Jinki,” Kibum mutters, finally able to push the male away from him. Jinki looks hopeful and Kibum almost feels bad for him, almost, but he feels worse towards Jonghyun.

It feels like he is cheating on him.

“Jinki, I... I’m touched that you like me, more than a friend, but... but I can’t do this.” Kibum whispers softly, slowly watching the expectant look on his friend’s face falls down into a disappointed one.

“Kibum, won’t you... won’t you give me a chance?”

He shakes his head, taking a step back.

“I can’t. I can’t force myself, Jinki. I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.”

“You still love him, don’t you?” Jinki asks seriously and Kibum feels the same clench in his chest that he has been feeling for the past days. He can’t find it in himself to answer it. Jinki seems to understand his silence response better though.

“You do.” Jinki states, as if it is something that everyone can see.

“Jinki. I’m sor-”

“No, no, Kibum. Stop apologizing,” Jinki says with a strained smile hanging on his lips. Kibum feels so bad.

“But I...”

“No, seriously.” Jinki chuckles bitterly, “You can’t help it. I should be the one, to be apologizing here.”

Kibum opens his mouth to say something back but Jinki laughs softly, waving his hand in front of his face.

“You don’t have to feel bad, Kibum. From the very beginning, it’s already a lost battle for me.”

Jinki looks so sad and Kibum feels like the biggest jerk ever in the whole world for hurting such kind guys around him. He feels like he is doing a crime.

“You would still consider me as friend, right, Kibum?” Jinki asks, holding a hand out to wait for a hand shake.

Kibum stares at the hand for a second before he steps close to pull Jinki into a hug. A friendly hug.

“I’m sorry, Jinki.” He whispers sadly. Jinki chuckles and pats his back.

“Stop saying sorry, you ungrateful child.”

Kibum sniffs his nose. He feels so bad towards Jinki, for being such a bad friend, and for not able to return his feeling. Jinki has always been there for him.

“Thanks. And sorry again.” He says.

Jinki pushes him away playfully. Kibum waits silently for what Jinki is going to say next.

“Live well, my friend. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t do anything that you will regret. Don’t lie to yourself.”

Kibum looks at his friend and Jinki sends him a knowing smile. “I know you very well, Kibum. Those years of friendship don’t go waste. I understand how you are thinking and if you are afraid of something you don’t want to admit, make sure you walk out of that fear. You wouldn’t want to regret it for being late.”

“What do you mean-”

“You understand perfectly about what I mean, Kibum.” Jinki winks at him and waves him bye before he goes back into his car.

Kibum watches as Jinki drives his car away and gives him the last wave for the night.

Regret for being late?

What does Jinki mean with that? What is it that Jinki means with Kibum doesn’t want to admit?

Kibum unlocks the door to his place and slips inside with a sigh leaving his lips. It feels like a very hard day.

He gets a little tipsy, gets a confession from his friend, and gets to see that sad smile from his ex.

It was so sad; Jonghyun’s face. Kibum clutches onto his chest as he closes his eyes. The image of Jonghyun giving him a smile full of sorrow makes him lets out the first sob.

It feels like everything slowly comes back to him, hitting him. Kibum covers his face as tears start to stream down his face.

Jonghyun... He never did anything wrong. The only mistake he ever did was for being too loveable. He is too lovely. Kibum can’t even resist him. But even though he can’t resist him, he also can’t admit it.

He can’t admit it to anyone. He can’t admit it even to himself.

It feels like he is taking it for granted. Jonghyun had been so sweet. If people see, they might think Jonghyun is the bad one here. But in reality, it’s Kibum who is the bad man here.

He gave Jonghyun the hope of being able to get back together again. Jonghyun had been so clear in speaking about his feelings, in doing affections, in everything. Kibum knows the look Jonghyun had always given him. It was the same as those years ago.

Is it really so hard for Kibum to admit it?

Is it really so hard to just admit that he is still very much in love with Jonghyun?

There. He admits it. Kibum has never mentioned the word of ‘love’ even in his mind. His first and only love was Jonghyun and they ended up broken.

That day when he met Jonghyun for the first time again after their divorce, Kibum felt so many feelings he thought he should not feel came resurfacing back.

That night when Jonghyun had told him he loved him, Kibum ignored the conscious voice in his head to admit and say it back. It was simply an offer from Jonghyun. An offer which simply said that if he were to accept him back, then they could be together. Jonghyun had made it clear that he wanted him back and no one else.

And Kibum?

Well, he fucked up.

He didn’t give an answer. And that simply meant rejection.

Kibum groans, hitting his head to the door. How come he is such an idiot? Jonghyun has offered him his love once again and he ignored it. Now Jonghyun might think weirdly upon seeing him with Jinki. He knows that look, that look in Jonghyun’s eyes said so many things regarding sadness.

“Oh my God.” Kibum mutters, his voice cracking as he sobs.

Jonghyun was always in love with him. Jonghyun is always in love with him.

And Kibum...?

“Oh my God. Oh my God, I love him.” Kibum admits for the first time, teary eyes going wide as realization hits him a bit too late.

He loves Jonghyun. Of course, who is he kidding with?

“Oh God.”He grunts, internally scolding himself for being like this.

He just hopes he is not late.











Jonghyun has not contacted him for a while. Kibum is jittery while working, stealing glances to his phone, fidgeting around. He can’t stay still, knowing that he fucked up big time and how he had hurt Jonghyun.

He really wants to text Jonghyun. Not too excessive with phone calls, he is not ready to hear his voice without having his knees buckling down.

Would Jonghyun reply him though? Would Jonghyun give him a chance?

Kibum bruises his own lip by biting onto it, as his fingers keep deleting the words and typing others, only to delete them again.

So he settles with the simple and friendly question of: Hey. How are you?

He hopes, he freaking hopes that Jonghyun would reply him though.

It takes him the whole school day until he finally realizes that Jonghyun is not going to reply his text. What does he expect? He won’t be replying too if he is in Jonghyun’s shoes. Kibum would be butt hurt and act even worse than this.

It’s dismissal time for him and Kibum sits in the bus, fingering his phone strap nervously. Should he send another text? But what should he say? He hurts Jonghyun, then what should he say?

Apology! Of course! How could he not think about that?

I’m sorry. Can we talk? Kibum types in his phone and prays to God that Jonghyun would reply him.

Kibum worries his lip as he unlocks his door. His phone is placed on top of the kitchen counter while he drinks a glass of water. He can’t take his eyes off of the device.

During his simple dinner which consists of kimchi fried rice topped with fried egg, Kibum stares straight at his phone. It takes him thirty minutes to realize that he won’t be getting any response.

Kibum sighs, pushing his bowl away and burying his face into hid folded arms. Oh God... Jonghyun must be really angry at him. What should he do now? Should he come to his office again so they can talk? But what would he say? Would Jonghyun even let him in?

“Argh. I’m so screwed.” Kibum ruffles his hair, slumping down against the metal counter.

He misses Jonghyun so much though.

And he is really sorry... for not saying I love you.











He takes a day off so he could enjoy being relaxed and pondering over his sad love life because Jonghyun has not replied to any of his text message for the whole one week. Kibum has run out of idea of what to say to Jonghyun. He really wants to beg on his knees, if needed, so that Jonghyun would listen to him and if possible, take him back.

Kibum wants to fight this time. He doesn’t want to lose Jonghyun again like that time years back ago, just because he didn’t want to fight for him. He doesn’t want to end up regretting everything like before.

He wants Jonghyun back. Oh God. How come he is so slow in admitting this?

Kibum shudders, leaning his head back onto the couch and ignoring the low buzzing from the television. Now that he admits it, it feels so right, so fulfilling. He likes the fluttery feeling in his chest everytime he as much as thinks about Jonghyun. He feels like being a teenager again. Funny; Jonghyun could make him feel so many things at the same time.

“Breaking news.”

Kibum blinks and jolts up questioningly, wondering why his ears could catch the words from the television all so suddenly.

“The latest news we got is that: the heir of Lee Construction is to be engaged to the Chief Executive Office of Kim Media Group. The engagement party will be held in three days and this is rumored to be the most expensive party for the year. More updates to come about the wedding which will be held in a few months. We congratulate Mr. Kim and Mr. Lee!”

“Oh my God.” Kibum whispers in dread. He completely forgets about it. Fuck. Jonghyun has a fiancé and he completely forgets about it. He completely doesn’t remember about that last time Jonghyun had come here, looking so weak and explaining his father’s plan in doing this.

Kibum grabs onto his phone and dials Jonghyun’s numbers.

“Please, please. Answer the call! Jonghyun, fuck!”

His call is directed to voicemail and Kibum curls into a ball, sobbing into his knees.

Is this a punishment for him? Because he is ignoring Jonghyun for all this time? Because he doesn’t want to admit his feeling? Because he keeps taking Jonghyun for granted?

“Jjong, oh God—I love you, Jonghyun- I –”

Kibum sobs, wanting to have Jonghyun’s arms around him and wanting to hear his voice of telling him that they will be fine.

When in reality, they are not.









***








A/N: Not everything is Jonghyun's fault! Hehe, five more chapters until the end! Expect another update in a few more days! And a new story is coming up soon! ^^
Thanks for reading! Comments will be very much appreciated and will make me very happy! Hehe~

Comments

[madeline young (from livejournal.com)]

okay okay Kumo unnie you are so right :))))

after reading this chapter, it really ruined my happy mood before reading :)))))

sometimes i just wonder why, why this love is really hard. like both of them think they have more mistakes than the other, but actually not their faults at all. i like the craziness in this love like marriage at a young age but feel sad when it goes like this. haiz, really wanna "kill" you after reading this Kumo unnie :)))))

waiting for 5 more chapters after this, you should complete it okay my unnie? don't drop it, i'm waiting for this fic everyday, even when i am very busy, you know?

luv yah <3

[samo99ro.livejournal.com]

Is it too late for them? I wish it wouldn't.
I'm almost crying now.