Kumo くも (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kumo_is_kumo) wrote2016-06-19 11:36 am
kumo_is_kumo) wrote2016-06-19 11:36 am
Love Me (I Do) Chap. 7
Title: Love Me (I Do)
Pairing: Kaisoo (Fem!Kyungsoo)
Genre: Genderbender, Romance, Smut, Fluff, Angst
Length: Series
Summary: Being in an unrequited love is something everyone has experienced in their life. Stealing glances from afar, smiling to yourself just because your crush glances back at you. Wanting to get into the seat next to them. Pouting when they don’t see you. Do Kyungsoo has experienced it all.
Don’t get Jongin wrong. It’s not that he is the biggest asshole in the world; no.
He is just a bit afraid.
The term of ‘love’ is not something common in his brain.
His parents love each other and still act like high school lovers sometimes, but Jongin is not.
Love.
It sounds so simple; yet the meaning is so heavy. The responsibility of it is so heavy and straining.
People meet, people love, people separate.
It’s moving in circle.
There’s never ‘love’ in Kim Jongin’s dictionary. It’s a taboo word for him. Love is not something he could easily understand; he just couldn’t grasp the concept of it.
What do you feel when you love? How do you know you have fallen in love? Is love scary? Is it edible?
Is it even… lasting?
Is it eternal?
Ever since he has met Do Kyungsoo, Jongin’s idealism of love has started to change bit by bit.
He has started to see different colors in people. For as long as he knows, people only meet for a good fuck. There’s no trust in between them. Whenever you are out and feel like sticking your dick into some available holes, there will be other people willing for you. Well, that’s what he used to think.
Do Kyungsoo.
Even her name is so unique and Jongin finds himself repeating the name again and again because it sounds so fucking amazing coming from his mouth. He wonders if he could talk to her.
Then again; Jongin’s not an idiot.
He knows that look. The look she gives him.
The look to have a quick session with him, the look to possess contemporary.
But wait.
There’s something else in her gaze.
Something like longing and something so tender.
Is she stupid?
She should have known by now that Kim Jongin does not do feeling. He fucks fast and hard and then done. He would find someone else.
But he couldn’t help it.
Do Kyungsoo is so fucking interesting and he couldn’t decipher in what kind of feeling he is having towards her.
After having a quick session of fucking with her, Jongin thinks he would be over it. He thinks he would be over the weird feeling.
But he finds himself craving for it again.
The way she tastes; it’s so fucking sweet.
The way she sounds; it’s so fucking melodic.
The way she stares; it’s so fucking blinding.
Everything about her; it’s so fucking confusing.
He finds himself coming back again and again for her. He has lots of girls standing in line behind him just to get a little bit of his dick. Everyone would be willing to spread their legs apart just to have him standing between them and fuck them to oblivion.
But, Do Kyungsoo.
She doesn’t even come up to him. She always avoids staring right into his eyes. She doesn’t even talk to him.
And Jongin is so fucking whipped for coming back again and again.
She’s attracted to him.
He knows it long ago.
He thinks she is kind of stupid.
She should have known of how famous Jongin as the heartbreaker, as the fucking machine, as the biggest jerk.
But she still falls for him.
Isn’t she stupid?
Jongin enjoys the time he is spending with Do Kyungsoo.
She is sweet, so freaking sweet and Jongin starts to feel bad for using her just for fuck.
When she smiles, her eyes crinkle into half moon and her lips form a pretty heart shape. When she is eating, her eyes look around as if she was curious. When she is startled, her eyes widen so big and it makes her looks so cute.
But he likes the attention she is giving him.
She doesn’t fake herself. She doesn’t fake the attention and the affection. She doesn’t fake the kindness.
She is just… different.
When she talks, her voice is calm and deep. When she moans, her voice turns a pitch higher and Jongin thinks it’s cute.
And she is short.
She is so tiny and Jongin might have a thing for something so small.
She just looks so fragile and the way he could tuck her under his chin is also really perfect. She fits perfectly in his arms.
She is so perfect.
And Jongin is afraid that he is started to get attracted in the non-sexual way towards her.
The talk with Oh Sehun makes Jongin realizes something he has been denying this whole time.
What is she to him? What is Do Kyungsoo to him?
She is just a girl; an innocent one at that.
And he comes into her life and taking her innocence away; not only once but even multiple of times.
But she doesn’t refuse!
That’s what Jongin’s banter in his mind everytime this kind of thought flashes across his brain. Yeah, right. Keep denying, will you?
Jongin doesn’t know what he is doing or what he is denying.
Oh fucking Sehun has come graciously to him and knocks some senses into his wrecked mind.
He couldn’t keep treating Do Kyungsoo like this. It’s not fair to her. She deserves a better life and not fucking with someone like Jongin.
She deserves a wide circle of friends.
She deserves a fresh future.
She deserves a good boyfriend.
Jongin wouldn’t be able to be her boyfriend like she wishes for, because Jongin is only looking for a good fuck.
So, once again, Jongin pushes every single feeling back and makes a promise to himself to stop playing around with Do Kyungsoo.
He has had enough of hurting her.
But maybe, all Jongin has to do is to break her once more to stop everything.
Kyungsoo wonders what happens with Jongin.
She comes up to their usual spot, knocking onto the door just like their code, but no one is inside of the washroom. There’s no Jongin waiting there with a wide grin over his plump lips.
Maybe he is busy?
With that in thought, Kyungsoo swipes her phone out and types a simple message to him: Busy?
A minute passes. Fifteen minutes pass.
Kyungsoo reluctantly leaves the washroom and heads towards the lunch room to grab the packed sandwich just because she wants to. She is hungry for skipping her breakfast just to miss the lecture from her parents of not waking up at the right time. Seriously, they couldn’t stop lecturing her.
She is an adult right now! She could choose her own path!
Pushing the thought away, Kyungsoo rounds around the corner and makes a mental note to call Baekhyun and finds where her friend is right now, but all of it vanishes the moment her eyes fall onto the sight of Jongin.
She should be happy to find him; but no. She is far from happy.
It’s like she has her chest pressed down with something heavy and she forgets how to breathe.
Yes, she finds Jongin.
But there’s another girl beside him. And from the sight of it, they have just finished some moment in private.
Kyungsoo feels her heart twists in pain at the image of Jongin doing the same thing to another girl. It hurts so much.
Jongin is well aware that he feels stare boring his skull so when he lifts his head up, his heart drops down to his stomach when he finds Kyungsoo standing by the end of the hallway, staring right at him.
He has the urge to run there and hide her from everyone, kissing her mouth softly, and muttering just how sorry he is.
No.
This is for the best.
She won’t be coming to him again and she will be freed from his wicked doings.
This should feel nothing, this should be leaving no effect on Jongin.
But his heart breaks when she locks her gaze on him even when he kisses the stranger girl in his arm.
He wants Kyungsoo to not look at it, but at the same time he wants her to look at it so that she will hate him and she will get away from him.
It’s fucking weird to feel that stabbing pain all over his chest, because when he walks pass her, Kyungsoo still locks her gaze on him.
Kyungsoo doesn’t think this day would come. She thinks they would forever go like they usually do or maybe they could be more than… fuck-buddies. But now, seeing another girl in his arms and how their clothes are even in a mess, Kyungsoo sure she doesn’t even want to know anymore.
She does what she could do right now.
Run away.
Without sparing any glance at her surrounding, Kyungsoo runs out of the place and hurries her legs to bring her to somewhere silent, somewhere safe, somewhere with no one around.
She doesn’t know what to do.
Maybe it’s true; that Jongin is only using her for his own pleasure only and that he has never seen Kyungsoo more than a mere girl he fucks.
It should be good that Kyungsoo runs away from him, but Jongin feels his breath is stuck in his lungs and he couldn’t help but to want to rush over to her and apologize.
With disgust, he lets go of the stranger girl he doesn’t even know the name of and walks away, ignoring the call from the girl.
Maybe Oh Sehun is right.
He is just using her.
He doesn’t have any feelings for her.
Yes.
That’s right.
It’s bad. Like, really bad.
Kyungsoo feels like a mess. She watches him having a different girl on each day and she cries her eyes out in her sleep for four nights straight.
But now, she doesn’t even know what to feel.
Towering over the toilet bowl, Kyungsoo lets out every liquid and every solid thing she has in her stomach. And her headache doesn’t even help with this condition.
Maybe it’s because she has been skipping her meals and ignoring Sehun’s attempt of asking what’s going on with her. Or maybe she also doesn’t even sleep properly at night and now she is catching a cold.
But there’s a gut feeling and she couldn’t help but feels wary about it.
Positive.
Every pregnancy test shows her that the result is positive.
Kyungsoo curls in the corner of the bathroom as she cries into her trembling palms, still unable to believe the fact.
The fact that she is now having a baby growing in her belly.
And also the fact that the baby’s father is the same man who is breaking her heart on each day.
She couldn’t believe it. How could they act so reckless? When did it happen? When did they do it without any protection?
It’s scary. She is scared.
She couldn’t tell anyone about this. She doesn’t have anyone to turn to.
Baekhyun would be hysterical. Chanyeol would be so shocked. Sehun would be sprinting off to kill the father of her baby.
And her parents?
They would disown her.
But what will Jongin’s reaction be?
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Huhuhu kyungsoo u innocent marshmallow baby
Huhuhu authornim ;_;
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