Worthy (Sequel to The Way I Saw It) Part 1

[kumo_is_kumo]

Title: Worthy (Sequel to The Way I Saw It)

Pairing: Jongkey

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff

Length: Oneshot

Summary: There were two different persons; with two different personalities. There were also heartbreaks and misunderstandings, but in the end, everything was worthy enough.

Attention: This is 11+K words so maybe it can be said 'monster-oneshot'(?) I don't know, enjoy!

Picture credits to Google


For Jonghyun, meeting lots of people was usual. They were pretty, handsome, nice, easy-going, and so on. But, he had never met someone that attractive like Kim Kibum.

It was that one fine day when he suddenly got no activity in the morning and he happened to scroll down his contact list to find someone to call. His eyes stopped at the name of ‘Choi Minho’—his junior in high school. They were ones good friend and then Jonghyun got the idea of calling him.

The sudden call turned out to be the re-beginning of their friendship and one week later, Jonghyun was invited to come to where Minho was currently working. He worked at a gym and Jonghyun loved working out.

That was also the first time he met Kibum.

He was so pretty, beautiful, attractive, hot; Jonghyun was left speechless. He had never met someone like him before. His heart beat so fast and Jonghyun thought ‘is this what people say with love at the first sight?’ Silly, yes. But that was what Jonghyun really felt. Kim Kibum was just perfection.

But then, there was only one bad news. Kim Kibum was such a cold-hearted person.

Well, Jonghyun was not Jonghyun if he gave up too quick.



***



For Kibum, meeting lots of people was usual. They were pretty, handsome, nice, easy-going, and so on. But, he had never met someone that attractive like Kim Jonghyun.

It was that one fine day when he got to work like usual and when he pushed the glass door open, he was greeted with Minho saying ‘good morning’ to him and a pair of foreign eyes staring at him. He was about to ignore it if Minho didn’t pull him aside and introduced him to his friend.

His name was Kim Jonghyun and he surely was the first person that caught Kibum’s attention that fast. His previous relationships were failed, they were broken and they were bastard. But then this Jonghyun had the most beautiful brown eyes that he had ever seen.

But, no. Every man was same. Except Minho, of course.

He knew this Jonghyun was hitting on him. Why not? He was practically staring at him and Kibum held back a smirk. No one could resist his beauty.

He ignored him, turning on his heels and walked away while swaying his curvy hips.

No, Kibum would never be deceived again with that kind of sweet talks.



***



Jonghyun tried his best to grab this beauty’s attention. But Kibum had to ignore him all over like that. Seriously, Jonghyun fell so hard for this person. He had never tried this hard just for having someone’s attention on him. Kibum was an exception now.

He came almost everyday to the gym, to work out and of course to talk to Kibum. He was so cold but Jonghyun knew he should have this soft side in him. He just knew it.

All of his efforts of talking and blabbering were just failed, until one day. Kibum talked to him first and that was new.

“What do you want, Jonghyun?”

“I want you to have a date with me.” Jonghyun was Jonghyun. He was so stubborn that his own sister sometimes wanted to choke him.

“No.” Kibum replied him with that cold voice of his and Jonghyun felt his smile faltered. But no, he should not show him any trace of disappointment.

“Why?” asked Jonghyun with a small pout. He didn’t know why Kibum still couldn’t see his charm. He was sure that Kibum was just as attracted as him.

“Because I don’t know you.”Kibum answered him while rolling his eyes. Jonghyun just kept his smile and grinned to him.

“You can know me more if you want to go for a date with me!”

Kibum simply ignored him back and Jonghyun sighed. He was so tired of his ignorant self for God’s sake. He didn’t know why did he do all of this but he knew that he was attracted to Kibum so bad. No, he fell for Kibum and his heart was beating so fast everytime he stared at him. If it was not love, then what was it?



***


For the next month, Jonghyun kept on pestering him, calling him ‘cutie’, or ‘pretty’, and even ‘Bummie’ and Kibum was surely enjoyed all the attention. He just didn’t want to admit it. He kept on repeating in his mind ‘He is a jerk. Just like all other men.’

On one fine day, he snapped.

“Seriously, Jonghyun! Get away from me!”

Jonghyun was a bit surprised at his sudden snapping but then he forced a grin. He ignored the way Kibum threw the hatred glare to him and he turned the blind eyes. Such a stupid puppy in love he was, he knew it.

“Won’t you go on a date with me?” He still hadn’t given up. Hell, it looked like he would never give up.

Kibum sighed and rubbed his temple, “Fine. But only one date.”

At the answer, Jonghyun’s eyes lit up in that happiness and he grinned so wide.

“Why only one date?” whined Jonghyun. He should try his luck, right? Who knew Kibum changed his mind. Kibum glared at him, “One date or not at all.” At the words, Jonghyun sealed his lips in a tight line and shook his head. At least maybe after one date, he could ask Kibum for another date.

Jonghyun grinned and jumped on his spot after telling Kibum that he would inform him later about the date. He quickly walked out from the room where Kibum was and jumping on his spot in happiness. Kibum was going on a date with him! Was it a dream? It wasn’t, right?

Jonghyun pinched his arm and groaned at the pain. It hurt! Meant it was real and Kibum was for real having a scheduled date with him! Woohoo!

Kibum ignored the way Jonghyun looked like a very cute puppy and he kept his eyes on his bag, pretending to search for something while he held himself from smiling too wide. Jonghyun was surely stubborn and he had a thing for stubborn guy, to be honest.

Jonghyun was attractive, he knew it. He sometimes found himself staring at Jonghyun’s abs for a moment before he shook the thought away. Looks could be deceiving. He had lots of experience about this before. They looked so nice, so good, so gentle, and when they wanted something, they would turn to this bastard, fucking jerk who only wanted to get into your pants.

Kibum would never let the same thing happened to him again. No more.



***



Kibum came fifteen minutes late to the cafe where they had a date and found Jonghyun was waiting eagerly for him. He greeted him with a quick smile and sat down lazily, watching Jonghyun talked to him.

“What do you want to drink?”

“Anything’s fine,” murmured Kibum while propping his chin with his hand; eyes staring out the window. Jonghyun smiled at him, Kibum had to admit that his smile was so charming.

The older man ordered him a strawberry milkshake and Kibum simply thanked him. “So, Kibum, how are you today?”

“Fine.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah.”

“Um... Do you want to order something else?” asked Jonghyun, feeling nervous with Kibum sitting across him. Kibum shook his head and took a sip of his milkshake. Jonghyun bit his lip. What should they talk about?

“Um, is work fine?”

Kibum lift an eyebrow but nodded anyway. Very good, way to ruin the mood, Kim Jonghyun.

“Uh... what do you want to talk about, Kibum?”

“I don’t know. You talk, I listen.”

Jonghyun gripped onto his fists in nervousness and he cleared his throat. Kibum was surely not cooperating with him. Did he pity him and he only came to make him happy?

“You know... Uh... I’m a musician.”

Kibum stared at him in interest for a split second before drifting his attention away. Jonghyun grinned when he felt like Kibum had an interest in hearing him. “Yeah, I write music for my company. I work for SM, you know that, right?”

Kibum nodded his head while humming. Jonghyun was so happy that Kibum finally paid some attention to him. “You know some groups? Like SHINee, f(x)? I write songs for them.”

“I see.”

“Uh, uh, is that good?” asked Jonghyun while pointing to the milkshake. Kibum stared at the glass and shrugged. “Yeah.So so.”

“O-Oh, I’m glad.”

And then it was silence. Where was your noisy self when you needed it, Kim Jonghyun?

‘Uh, think about something, Jonghyun! Think!’

Then he caught the sight of one drop of milkshake smeared on Kibum’s lower lip. He grabbed a tissue and leaned forward, holding the tissue for Kibum to take while murmuring, “You have something...”

Kibum backed away quickly and glared at him. “Don’t get too close. It’s disturbing.”

“I-I’m sorry...”

Jonghyun was surely hurt by the way Kibum acted around him. He didn’t know what was wrong with him that Kibum seemed to despise him that much. Maybe he was indeed disturbing?

“Um, Kibum,”

“What?” responded Kibum uninterestedly while sipping his milkshake to the last drops. Jonghyun sighed and forced a smile. “Should we get going? You looked... tired.”

“Oh, it’s done already? Good.”

Kibum simply waved at him and walked away, leaving Jonghyun standing alone in front of the cafe with longing in his eyes. Kibum was not interested with him.



***



Jonghyun came to the gym on Monday and was greeted with Minho’s question about the date. He remembered the awkward situation and forced a smile to Minho, “It didn’t go that well but it was still nice.”

Minho frowned at his response and Jonghyun just shrugged it off. “Was it that bad, hyung?”

“It was... I don’t know. He didn’t really pay attention to me and I think... he didn’t like me that much... Should I give up?”

Minho grabbed onto his shoulder, staring into his eyes while chanting the continuous ‘No’. “Hyung, please, don’t give up yet. He is clearly interested in you, but he is too stubborn to admit it. Please, hyung?”

Jonghyun parted his lips, but no words coming out before he sighed and nodded his head in defeat. Maybe he should try a bit more.

Minho nudged him and pointed at the direction of the door with his chin when the sound of the door opened was heard. Jonghyun turned around and found Kibum entering the building, still with his gorgeous self. He grinned when he saw how adorable Kibum looked with his clothes. Kibum spared a single glance towards him and then turned away. Jonghyun pouted like a little pup and shrugged, not really expecting any other expression from Kibum when he looked at him.



Weeks turned into months and Jonghyun was still being Jonghyun. Stubborn and noisy. Kibum had the tendency to roll his eyes everytime Jonghyun was moving closer to him. Seriously, didn’t this man have any work or what?

He knew that he was indeed very attractive. Kibum heard that a lot. He knew that Jonghyun looked like a good person but he still couldn’t trust someone that fast. He trusted Minho; he had been there since they were kids and there was no need to doubt Minho’s loyalty.

But then... someone so handsome and attractive came, hitting on him, and Kibum had some bad experiences similar with this.

Sometimes he caught Jonghyun staring at him, practically undressing him with his eyes. Kibum knew that sometimes he wanted that attention. Sometimes he swayed his hips a little bit over, walking like a cat here and there. Sometimes he wore clothes that were showing his curvy body. He knew that.

But sometimes Jonghyun was too stupid to hide his interest with his body.



“For fuck’s sake! Get the fuck away from me!” Kibum snapped all of sudden, and he even surprised that he could snap that loud. Jonghyun was staring blankly at the wall beside Kibum and when the younger man snapped like that, he jumped on his seat. Who would expect Kibum would snap all of sudden?

“E-Eh?”

“Don’t think I don’t know that you are practically drooling over my ass. You only want to get into my pants. Fine, what do you want to do now? You want to fuck me, right? Where and when? Just get it over and leave me the fuck alone!” Kibum hissed the words; his tone was full with venom that Jonghyun felt shiver ran down his body.

Jonghyun tried to defend himself, “I-I’m not—”

“Yeah, and Santa is real,” snapped Kibum again. Jonghyun stared with parted lips, he just stared but the hurt was clear in his eyes. He cleared his throat to break the awkward silence before taking a step back. He had to do something or the tears that starting to well in his lids could fall anytime soon. He didn’t like being snapped like that, especially from someone that he liked so much.

“I-I have to make a c-call,” and he walked out from the room. He ran out from the building, escaping to the emergency door which he knew would be no one there. He sighed and rubbed his face. A tear fell and he crouched down, hugging his knees close. Who thought that loving someone could be this hurting?

He knew that Kibum was clearly not interested on him. He realized that already, thank you very much. But then he also didn’t know why he tried so hard just to win over Kibum’s heart. He could get any other person outside, he had this charm and he was simply handsome.

Jonghyun sniffed and wiped his wet eyes with his sleeve before hitting his cheeks lightly. He forced a smile before deciding that he would be better go before Kibum snapped again at him. But his jacket was still in the building. He sighed as he realized that he had to face Kibum again.



***



Kibum sighed as he saw Jonghyun sprinted off from the room. He turned around and was greeted with Minho’s burning eyes.

“What?” He snapped.

“Sometimes I don’t think I know you. Sometimes I think you are not the Kibum that I used to know. You don’t have to be that harsh towards him, you know,” Minho spoke lowly to him. Kibum sighed again and his tensed shoulder slumped down.

“What do you want to say, Minho?”

“Stop being this unknown person and give me back the old Kibum. This Kibum hurts so many people and I don’t like it.”

He rubbed his temple and sighed. Minho was talking nonsense again. “I don’t get it, Minho! I’m still me!”

“No, you are not. The old Kibum wouldn’t act that rude and would always hear what people say.”

Why did Minho act as if he knew everything about Kibum? Sure, Minho knew almost everything about him.

“Minh—”

“Give him a chance. He is serious with you. You won’t meet a good man like him any other time. All you need to do is giving him a chance to prove himself that he is different. You hurt him too many already and if I were him, I wouldn’t want to come back.” Minho talked in this serious expression that Kibum felt the sudden urge to just believe him. He didn’t know. He was just so confused.

Right after Minho finished talking, the glass door was slowly being pushed and Jonghyun entered back. “S-Sorry, I-I just want to grab my jacket. I’ll go quickly.”

He rushed to the coat hanger on the corner of the room and Kibum frowned. He was sure that he saw something unusual, but what was it? Jonghyun forced a smile to Minho and left them alone without sparing any glance at Kibum; the door closing slowly behind his back.

Kibum knew what was that something. With wide eyes, he turned to Minho.

“Did you see that?” asked Minho slowly and Kibum hesitantly nodded, “His eyes were so puffy...”

“A man who only wants your ass won’t cry over your insult,” said Minho before leaving him as well.

Kibum frowned. Did Jonghyun cry? Over that insult? That simple insult?

Okay, that was not a simple insult. Kibum knew it. But then should he cry? Should his face look that miserable? Should he look that sad?

Kibum couldn’t help but felt the sudden tug in his heart. He bit his lip down, feeling so guilty to make someone as cheerful and noisy as Jonghyun to cry. He knew that it was his fault this time and he had to make it up to him.

But how?



***



A week later, Jonghyun was once again back to his cheerful self. He felt like he was disturbing Kibum. He understood now why Kibum despised him so much; that was why he locked himself in his house. Maybe he should take some space from Kibum.

“Hey, Minho!” greeted Jonghyun while pushing the glass door. He saw how Minho’s face went like he was relieved when he saw him entered the building. He grinned; he understood that Minho was worrying him.

“Hi, hyung. Where did you go?”

“I... Nothing, I just lazed around at home,” said him and grinned stupidly. He just didn’t want to worry Minho more. That whole week might be worrying Minho that bad. Minho smiled and patted him on his shoulder.


Kibum walked slowly, crossing the road while keeping his hands in his pockets. It had been a week and Jonghyun was nowhere to be found. He was a bit worried with him but he didn’t want to show it. He didn’t want to show Minho that he was right about Jonghyun.

The wind blew and Kibum closed his eyes to avoid any dusts from entering his eyes. Once he opened them, he gasped. That was Jonghyun. He saw Jonghyun entering the building. Jonghyun was back.

Smiling a bit, Kibum fastened his walk, but before he could held himself back, he was practically running there. He made sure that he didn’t smile when he pushed the door.

Panting, he found Minho and Jonghyun were staring at him in surprise. Of course, who would expect that Kim Kibum would be running and panting like crazily over seeing someone?

His eyes locked on Jonghyun’s figure. Nothing was different. Yet he couldn’t stop staring at him even though his mind was practically blank at the moment.

“Hyung?” Minho called him hesitantly and Kibum broke his trance, clearing his throat. He closed the door and stood stiff on his spot, clueless about what to do.

Upon Kibum’s arrival, Jonghyun fidgeted uncomfortably on his spot and he tugged onto Minho’s shirt. Being in the same room with Kibum felt like choking him, moreover if he remembered about the last encounter that they had. He didn’t want Kibum to snap at him again. “I-I will go to the training room. Um, see you around, Minho.”

Not giving Minho any chance to answer, he just turned on his heels. Kibum felt his breath was stuck in his throat and when Jonghyun was about to walk away, Kibum’s stuttering voice stopped him from doing so. “H-Hey, Jonghyun,”

With wide eyes, Jonghyun turned around in surprise, not expecting that Kibum would call him that way. Kibum parted his lips before closing them again. He sighed and gripped his blouse. “Can we talk?”

Jonghyun stared at him as if asking ‘are you serious’ and Kibum could only stared hopefully at him. Jonghyun felt Minho nudged him on his ribs and he looked at him, seeing Minho motioning at Kibum, mouthing the word ‘go’. Jonghyun hesitantly nodded and he followed Kibum entering one empty training room to talk in private.

Once the door was closed, Jonghyun found that Kibum was staring at him and he uncomfortably moved his gaze away from the younger man. “Um,” started Kibum and Jonghyun silently waited for him to talk while kept staring at his dark blue sneakers, “I... haven’t seen you for a while.”

Jonghyun hesitantly nodded his head and sighed. He didn’t like this awkward situation.

“Uh, Jonghyun... I... There’s something that I have to say. Umm... I’m sorry,”

Jonghyun felt his round eyes went wide and he instantly snapped his head up to stare at Kibum’s flustered face. The younger man was picking onto his blouse and he took a deep breath before continuing, “for being... you know, bitchy last time.”

The older man felt like losing his words and all of his vocabulary was stuck in his throat. All he could utter was just, “Why?”

Kibum shifted his gaze to the poster of someone’s abs on the wall behind Jonghyun’s head before sighing, “I feel... guilty. I guess I was in bad mood last time so... I took it on you. Sorry about that.”

Jonghyun had his mouth formed in ‘o’ and he slowly nodded his head. “I guess it’s fine...”

“One more thing!” stopped Kibum before Jonghyun could think that their conversation was over. Jonghyun stared at him questioningly and Kibum shakily asked, “Do you... aish. Go on a lunch with me.”

If today was not a ‘surprising-Jonghyun-day’ then it would be trick.

“...what?”

“I-I said have a lunch with me!” said Kibum with raised voice, maybe he was flustered. Jonghyun could only stare at Kibum. He was really, really not expecting this coming. But, seriously...? Kibum asking him for a lunch?

“A-Are you serio—”

“I will wait at 12 in front of the lobby,” said Kibum before pushing Jonghyun to open the door; his face red from embarrassment.

The door opened and he avoided Minho’s gaze on him. “Hyung? What happened?”

Jonghyun grinned and Kibum quickly walked pass Minho, mumbling the small ‘see you around’ before rushing out from the gym room. Jonghyun shook Minho’s arms and jumped on his spot, “He apologized! And he invited me for a lunch! Did you hear that, Minho?!”

Minho seemed not believe but Jonghyun was already back to his lovesick-puppy self. He could hear Minho muttering the disbelief ‘really?’ but Jonghyun was already too busy in his mind, replaying the way Kibum asked him for a lunch together. He was adorable, all flustered like that.

That day, Jonghyun was all smiles and he was practically jumping on his way to the lobby. He caught the sight of Kibum sitting down on the sofa, a fashion magazine on his lap. Once he found Jonghyun staring at him, he closed the magazine and cleared his throat, before mumbling the ‘come on’. Jonghyun nodded his head docilely and followed where Kibum was walking.

They settled on one small cozy restaurant and Jonghyun was staring at Kibum dreamily. Kibum cleared his throat to break Jonghyun’s stare and he grinned stupidly. Murmuring a soft ‘sorry’, Jonghyun looked through the menu and ordered something simple. Kibum said his order and when the waiter went to grab their ordered dishes, Jonghyun stayed silent, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want to repeat the same mistake; blabbering about himself when Kibum was not even paying attention to him.

“S-So,” murmured Kibum and Jonghyun’s head snapped up in surprise.

“Yeah?”

“H-How are you doing these days?” asked Kibum while playing with a napkin. Jonghyun grinned at the cute act and hummed. “I was busy preparing for some groups comeback. I have to write like... three songs in two weeks...”

“I-It must be hard...” Kibum responded to him. Jonghyun’s eyes lit up at the response Kibum gave him before he nodded his head. “Yeah, but it’s amazing. I enjoy writing songs and when people get the pleasure from hearing to the songs that I wrote, I would be happier.”

Kibum stared at him in silence; his heart warmed at the sincerity. He chuckled and covered his mouth from smiling too wide. Jonghyun was staring at him in shock. “W-What?”

“You know... you are interesting, Jonghyun.”

“M-Me?” asked Jonghyun while pointing to himself. Kibum smirked and nodded. “Yeah, you.”

“H-How could you say that?”

“Of course, you look like a completely asshole like playboys,” at the words, Jonghyun found himself pouting but he grinned nonetheless, “but I think that’s what unique from you.”

“U-Unique? Me?” Jonghyun was surely an idiot. He could be handsome, but he was pretty idiot sometimes. Kibum chuckled at his expression and nodded. “I... was bad towards you from the beginning so I want us to start over,” said Kibum while crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back to the seat with a cocky smirk on his face.

“...are you being serious now, Kibum?”

“I’m not going to repeat myself.”

Jonghyun stared at him like he was some kind of alien but Kibum thought the expression was cute. He heard Jonghyun blabbered all of his disbelief and when Jonghyun asked, “You are giving me a chance?” Kibum simply nodded his head.

Yeah. He was giving Jonghyun a chance to prove himself that he was different from those assholes.



***



They had gone on some dates and Jonghyun was waking up every morning with a smile on his face. Sure, Kibum still didn’t let him hold his hand but he was happy that way.

He remembered visiting Kibum when he was sick a few days ago. He asked Minho where Kibum was and when the taller boy told him that Kibum was sick at his home, Jonghyun went frantic. He demanded for Kibum’s address and visited him, surprising Kibum who opened the door still in his pajamas.

Kibum shrugged and let him in, telling him to feel at home while he got back into his room. Jonghyun cooked some delicious porridge along with a pot of warm tea. Kibum thanked him with his attention and sent him a smile. Jonghyun was nearly dying when Kibum smiled at him. Looked like Kibum was starting to open up for him.

Another working day passed and Jonghyun frowned when he heard the growling sound from the sky. It was about the time Kibum got out from his work and Jonghyun had planned to fetch him up. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel while waiting for the traffic light to turn. He didn’t want Kibum to get drenched from the rain. He had to fetch him up!

He arrived at the building when the rain was already pouring. He ran down from his car, sprinting over the building and stood on the lobby. He saw Kibum was playing with his phone, maybe he was waiting for the rain to stop before he could go to home. Jonghyun grinned and walked closer to him. Kibum felt the presence of someone getting closer and his eyes widened when he saw Jonghyun was drenched wet.

“What are you doing?”

“Fetching you up. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

Kibum felt his heart fluttered from Jonghyun’s way to act sweet. He chuckled and stood up. “Alright. You don’t bring any umbrella?”

Shaking his head no, Jonghyun grinned and lifted up his coat. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you get wet. Come,”

He covered Kibum completely with his coat, letting himself drenched by the rain pouring from the sky. Kibum stared at his effort and a thankful smile was formed on his lips. He let Jonghyun brought him to his car, opening the door, and buckled the seat belt for him. Jonghyun was too sweet for a guy, seriously.

Once they arrived in front of his house, Kibum said his thank you repeatedly, making Jonghyun flustered and rubbing the back of his neck. Kibum chuckled before he laughed lightly; waving at Jonghyun with the most sincere smile he had ever given to the man. Jonghyun stared in amazement; Kibum was so pretty and he felt his heart was thumping so fast. Only when Kibum had entered the house Jonghyun had jumped on his seat, punching the air with his fists in happiness.

At one fine day, Jonghyun was chatting with Minho after having his gym training. He was trying to find Kibum when finally Minho told him that Kibum was having a hard day today. He had lots of sudden job for the day and he wouldn’t be able to have his lunch. Jonghyun bit down his lip and without thinking much further, he went out to the nearest family restaurant and bought a set of complete lunch to take out.

He slowly walked to where Kibum was working currently, and smiled when he found the younger man was resting for a while. He knocked on the door, silently thanking that no one else was in the room. Kibum opened his eyes from resting and was greeted with the sight of Jonghyun’s head popping in from outside. He let out a soft chuckle at the cute sight and motioning Jonghyun to enter.

“Minho said you are having lots of jobs today,” said Jonghyun while hiding the lunch box behind his back. Kibum nodded and massaged his neck. “Yeah, indeed I am.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Kind of. But I can’t go on for a lunch today since my break time is limited, so I’m—”

“Here,” said Jonghyun while pushing the lunch set into his hands. Kibum stared at the neatly packed lunch before looking up at Jonghyun. “What...?”

“You... can’t stay hungry. I don’t want you to get sick, so... yeah, eat a lot.”

Jonghyun rubbed his neck before sprinting to the door, waving his hand. Kibum chuckled at him before laughing a bit. “Thanks!” he shouted after Jonghyun closed the door. He was sure Jonghyun still could hear him though.

Jonghyun fists-pumped in celebration before he skipped along the hallway. But then he thought; if Kibum had lots of jobs for the day, what time would he finish?

He walked to the lobby, asking about everything on the Kibum’s jobs schedule and they said that they didn’t know about it. Jonghyun sighed. He could only wait.

He waited outside the building in his car. He watched how people were slowly passing by his car, going back from work, from school; going back home and Kibum had yet to come out. He took the spare time to write a song; three hours passed before he realized it.

It was seven when finally Kibum walked out from the building with the tired looking face. Jonghyun quickly put down his papers and pencil, going out form the car and called out his name. Kibum was so surprised to see him there and he walked towards his car. “What are you doing here?”

Jonghyun grinned and bit his lip shyly. “I... was waiting for you.”

With one eyebrow furrowed, Kibum sighed, “How long did you wait?”

“I... don’t know? I didn’t get back home at all so you could say that I waited... that long.”

Kibum shook his head and crossed his arms on his chest. “You waited for me so you could take me home?”

“Y-Yes,” he didn’t know why but Jonghyun felt intimidated with Kibum staring at him like that. Kibum smirked, “You could be an idiot sometimes, Jonghyun. But it was sweet, so I will let you off. Come on, I’m tired.”

He pushed Jonghyun away and got into his car. Jonghyun grinned and quickly ran towards the driver seat, driving along the chilly night to Kibum’s house.

Once they were arrived, Jonghyun turned to him and said, “Don’t forget to eat your dinner, Kibum.”

The younger man stopped for a while before replying, “Have you eaten your dinner?”

“No, I will just skip,” said Jonghyun with a stupid grin on his face. Kibum tsk-ed at him and glared, “You told me to eat my dinner and here you are going skip it? Get in. Dinner with me.” And with that, Kibum got out from the car, unlocking the front door to his house. Jonghyun stared at Kibum’s back with a shocked grin, before jumping out from the car when Kibum glared at him through the opened door.

“Don’t make me wait.”

“Yes, yes!”



***



It was one fine day in December. Jonghyun had planned it all along. The Christmas was just a week around and if Kibum said yes, then this would be their first Christmas together.

Yes, Jonghyun planned on confessing. He knew that he should have done it sooner but he was afraid that Kibum would reject him. Sometimes Kibum would give him hints of being equally attracted but some other times, Kibum would act so cold to him that he would think over about confessing. But now he had decided that he would do it.

He grabbed the flowers and that special box before smiling nervously to himself. Tonight was such a beautiful night, Jonghyun chose to not driving his car and walked. He pushed the glass door, greeting Minho who was about to get back home.

“Jonghyun hyung?”

He grinned and put his finger over his lips, telling Minho to lower his voice. He didn’t want his plan to be ruined. Minho stared at him questioningly but then in a few seconds, a grin lit up on his face.

“Hey, Minho. Is Kibum here?”

“Yeah, he is still inside I think. Hyung, are you going to confess?”

He blushed and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah. Are you going to go home, Minho?”

“I am. It’s about time, hyung. I thought you would never make this official. I’m tired of seeing you both beat around the bush. I hope the best for you, hyung! Fighting!”

Minho was surely the best dongseng ever. He grinned back and waved at Minho, now left alone.

Now, let’s see. Where was Kibum?

Jonghyun peeked into Kibum’s work room and found no one. Oh, don’t tell him that Kibum was at home already? Jonghyun hissed and walked towards the locker room. He had been here too often that everyone in the building knew him already. He could walk freely as if he worked here.

But then, he heard that.

“Kibum, stop wasting your time with him.”

Kibum? Someone was talking with Kibum? In the locker room?

“Get away from me. What do you want?” He could hear Kibum’s cold voice. He heard that kind of tone a lot before.

Jonghyun was standing right in front of the door. The little window with tinted glass was the only thing that showed the conversing people inside. It was Kibum’s voice. Clear as crystal.

He knew that he should not eavesdrop on their conversation, so he wanted to wait outside. But then what he heard next was not what he expected.

“I want you to stop hanging around that Jonghyun kid. You are getting too close to him and I don’t like it.”

Jonghyun stopped himself before he could turn on his heels. Even from the tinted window, he could see the silhouette of that someone held onto Kibum. He even let someone else touched him like that but not him? His heart clenched at the thought but he stayed to hear more. It had his name after all.

“What is it for you? You stalk me.” He could hear that Kibum was annoyed.

“You know that I want you from the very beginning, Kibum. And now you are hanging with that kid.”

Who was this person? Was he close to Kibum?

“So?”

“Tell me. What is your relationship with him?”

Honestly, he was kind of curious of what would be Kibum’s answer. He was wondering what Kibum was thinking about their relationship after those dates that they had.

“There’s nothing between us.”

His heart sank.

“He is only your friend, right?”

“Maybe.”

Then his head was spinning in confusion.

“Then what is that Jonghyun kid to you?”

Yes, what was I to you?

“No one. Jonghyun is no one to me. He is no different than you, annoying and never knows when to stop. Now get the fuck away from me.”

Oh.

The answer was so clear. The rejection was so clear. There was no need to confess anymore.

His fist gripped onto the bouquet of flowers; the stems were crushed from the pressure. He never knew that heartbroken would be this painful. He took a step back, walking away from the spot before eyeing at the flowers and the blue velvet box in his hands.

He threw them.

They had no use.



With heart thumping so fast against his ribcage, Jonghyun made his way out from the building, eyes blurred with tears. He settled down on the frozen bench, staring up at the night sky blankly without thinking about anything. Kibum’s previous statements were echoing loud enough in his ears.

His tears scrolled down before he could prevent it. Jonghyun knew that he was such a softie, such a baby trapped in a grown up man body. But he couldn’t help it. Men could also cry.

He knew that he would hiccup whenever he cried. But he didn’t know why he cried without letting any sound out this time. He just felt all of his energy was leaving him already and he felt weak.

The echoing voice of Kibum saying ‘There’s nothing between us’ and the sentence of ‘Jonghyun is no one to me’ were enough to make him sighed. He stared as his cold breath was dissipating into the cold air, equally at the same state with his cold heart.

He had one hand gripped onto his chest, little sobbing escaped his lips and then he sighed again.

“‘No one’...”murmured Jonghyun hoarsely. Kibum was so cruel. Should he say it that clear? Should he talk it like that? With venom in his voice? Without any affection in his voice?

Was Jonghyun really had no place in his heart?

Did he pity Jonghyun and he gave him a chance only to make fun of him?

He knew that he was such a stubborn, annoying bastard but if Kibum didn’t want him, he could just say it clearly from the very beginning. No need to lead him like this. Giving him a high hope and crushed him down into pieces.

He stayed like that for a long time; not moving even for a slightest bit.



Maybe Jonghyun should really go away. That way, Kibum would be very happy and he would be free from the burden of meeting with Jonghyun anymore.

Sniffing, Jonghyun rummaged into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He was hesitating whether this would be a good decision or it would hurt him more. But then, what was left for him to sacrifice? Kibum had taken his heart and ripped it mercilessly right in front of his eyes.

He called his boss. “Yeah, Jonghyun?”

“Hey, hyung. Is the offer...still available?”murmured Jonghyun into the phone. He was still a bit confused with this.

“Um, of course. We offered this only to you and Jinki. But Jinki had made it clear that he refused it. What is it? Are you going to take it, Jonghyun?”

“Yeah. I... I’ll take it. Just plan everything well...and as soon as possible.”

“You sure, Jonghyun? No turning back after you say yes.”

“Yes, I’m... sure. Thanks a lot, hyung.”

He hung up the call and sighed, before rising up and walked away, went back home. He was hoping to walk back with Kibum when he planned all of this but then he guessed his plan was such a failure from the beginning.



***

Next: Part 2