Revert

[kumo_is_kumo]

Title: Revert

Pairing: Kaisoo

Genre: Romance, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Smut

Length: Oneshot

Summary: Kyungsoo lacks of tolerance. Jongin lacks of trust. Together, they rebuild their family for the sake of their three-years-old son.

Also posted under: Asianfanfics link ♦ AO3 link













Poster by: MANGO · graphic shop





revert [ri-vurt]

to return to a former habit, practice, belief, condition, etc.:







“Dada?”

Kyungsoo stops putting the clothes into the washing machine as his only son who is three years old by now tugs onto the end of his sweat pants. Oh, time flies so fast and now Jaemin is already learning how to talk.

“Yes, baby?” He puts down the clothes basket and crouches down to meet his son’s eye level.

“What is family?” Jaemin asks, all round eyes and innocent.

Kyungsoo blinks in surprise, clearly not expecting this.

“Where did you hear that from, baby?”

Chubby index finger points back to the direction of the living room.

“Teebee!”

“It’s TV, Jae, not teebee. Repeat after me; TV.” Kyungsoo smiles amusedly at the face his son is making.

Jaemin scrunches his nose in discomfort, fingers going up to curl on Kyungsoo’s shirt.

“Tee… teevee?”

It makes Kyungsoo grins and he peppers kisses all over his son’s face, “You did great already. Don’t force yourself.”

Jaemin makes a cackling sound and tries to stop his Dada from smooching him with wet kisses. His fists go up to cup Kyungsoo’s cheeks.

“Dada, what is family?”

“Family is… a group of people who love each other.” Kyungsoo tries his best to come up with the easiest words.

Jaemin shrieks then he claps his palms.

“So we are family, Dada? Because I love Dada and Dada loves Jae!”

“Yes. My Jaemin is so smart!” Kyungsoo pecks the chubby cheek.

The boy then giggles. But his next question catches Kyungsoo off guard.

“So then Papa is also family?”

Kyungsoo stills. He is not expecting this to come. The day when Jaemin will start questioning their family state.

“Uh, Jae-”

“Because I love Papa and Papa loves me?”

“Y-Yes. Of course. Papa is family, too.” Kyungsoo stutters with a smile.

Oh, well, his ex-husband is always family to him.



Even though they have divorced for a year.











They love each other. Finding the right one even from their early age is such a lucky thing for them. Kyungsoo has never thought that he would meet someone as amazing as Jongin in his life moreover to be in a relationship with him and ends up marrying him.

Living in the same neighborhood gives them the chance to meet each other more often than meeting their other friends from the elementary school. Having parents being friend with each other after living in the same neighborhood has its perks as well. Moreover when they want to go to the same school, same college, and same everything.

It’s like they can’t go on their own separate ways.

When you find Kyungsoo, you will find Jongin.

And when you want to find Jongin, you will have to ask Kyungsoo.

They are so perfect. Like the most fit puzzle pieces being locked together.







It’s not hard to fall for one of them.

Jongin has always have people turning their head to stare at him whenever he walks by them.

Kyungsoo has always have people complimenting him on whatever good deeds he does.

And Jongin; he has always have his eyes on Kyungsoo.

He always has.



“Hey, Soo?” He pokes the other boy, trying his best to grab his attention because Kyungsoo is ignoring him again. That book appears to be more interesting than him.

“What.”

He responses, but his eyes are still locked onto the words in the book.

It makes Jongin pouts because Kyungsoo has to have his attention on him. It’s a must.

“Kyungsoo, look at me.”

“I’m reading, Jongin.”

“Pay attention to me!” He demands. He has been holding himself back from confessing because Kyungsoo is such a good friend to him. He can’t risk of losing him just because of his one sided love. Who knows what Kyungsoo feels for him; maybe just as a friend or even just as a brother.

But it’s really hard to hold back nowadays; rumors are going around that a boy from the other grade is crushing on Kyungsoo and is in the plan to have him.

Oh no, Jongin can’t let this happen.

Kyungsoo is his.



“Pay. Attention. To. Me. Or –”

“Or what?” Kyungsoo grunts because apparently Jongin is disturbing him from finishing this chapter.

Jongin needs something to hold him back. Because his eyes are locked onto those pink plump lips and he is being seduced by the natural pout forming on them.

“Or- or I’m going to, to –”

“Seriously, Jongin. Just tell me what you want or shut up. I have to return this book tomorrow to Myunghoon and –”

Jongin can’t even listen to the rest of the words. Just the mention of that boy’s name is making him sick to his stomach. When does Kyungsoo and that Myunghoon boy get close? I mean, that boy can’t be confessing to Kyungsoo already, right?

“Don’t say his name,” Jongin hisses lowly.

The tone makes Kyungsoo to finally lift his head up and stares at him in confusion.

“What’s wrong with you? Do you have any problem with Myunghoon?”

“Fuck. Stop saying his name.” Jongin grunts, slamming his fist down onto his bed.

Kyungsoo blinks his eyes innocently, not really understanding what’s getting into Jongin’s mood.

“What’s with you? Jongin, you are so weird. You want me to pay attention to you so that I can see you having a mood swing like this? I’m sorry but I would rather finish this book and have it returned to Myungh—”



Jongin leaps across his bed and grabs Kyungsoo by his face in a tight grip, mouth pressed to his to shut him up.

The only sound heard in the room is his own hard panting because apparently, Kyungsoo is too shocked and he is holding his breath.

“You say his name one more time and I’m not going to forgive you.” He hisses.

Kyungsoo drops the book to his lap, not caring on where he has read it last, before winding his arms up and pulling the panting boy close to him to kiss him again.

“You take time so long.” Kyungsoo whispers against his mouth, eyes closing as he cuts the remaining gap between their mouths.

Jongin feels like flying because Kyungsoo is kissing him back.

That means he doesn’t have to hold back anymore.











The memory of their first kiss is still fresh in his mind, as if it happened yesterday.

Kyungsoo unconsciously drags his fingers along his lower lip, because Jongin has always loved nibbling onto it when they kiss.

Realizing what he has been doing, a shy blush is decorating his face and he hurriedly finishes his laundry duty.

Jaemin has long gone back to the living room to continue watching his TV and he doesn’t even realize it. With a sigh, Kyungsoo puts down the empty laundry basket and leans against the washing machine, mind back to remember what happens between him and his ex-husband that causes their family like this.











It’s that one night when Jaemin is sleeping in his room and Kyungsoo is standing right in the middle of the living room, glaring at his husband with fire in his eyes.

Jongin has been home late for the past few days. It’s starting to get onto his nerves.

“Where are you? Do you know what time it is? Don’t you want to know whether I’m still up waiting for you or whether your son is asking for you?”

Jongin drops his coat to the couch and sighs.

“I have told you to sleep and I even apologize to Jae that I can’t put him to bed. You know I’m working my job. Why can’t you understand that?”

A scoff leaves Kyungsoo’s mouth as he walks closer to his husband.

“Are you cheating on me?”

The look flashes on Jongin’s face is resembling to one that shows hurt but Kyungsoo is too blinded in anger to even realize that.

“You accuse me of cheating?” He asks back breathlessly.

This is what their household has been doing for the whole month. Everytime he gets back home late, Kyungsoo will start nagging and getting angry at him.

“Are you fucking that pretty secretary of yours? That one with long hair and fluent in English? Don’t you?”

“Kyungsoo! I’m not cheating on you and stop dragging other people in this!”

“You even defend her! Oh how great you are, Jongin! You forget you have a husband at home and a two year old son asking for his Papa on every minute you are not home! Do you only remember her name when you have your dick in her? Because I’m sure as hell you are!” Kyungsoo screeches, not even remembering that his son is just sleeping two doors from where he is standing.

Jongin grabs his husband on his arm tightly, “You stop this right this instant before we say something we will regret.”

“I will stop when you stop being a fucking bastard!”

“I do not cheat on you, Kyungsoo. What should I do to make you believe in me?!”

“Stop denying because I know everything, you bastard!” Kyungsoo screeches, landing a punch on his husband’s shoulder in anger because Jongin has the nerve to deny it.

Jongin can’t even think straight and he feels how his body is trembling in anger. He can’t and he won’t lay a hand on his husband, no matter what happens.

And he fires back.

“Why are you putting everything on me? How about you then? You can’t put all the blame on me!” Jongin talks back, ignoring the dull pain from the hit.

He has been trying to ignore the nagging feeling in his mind but with Kyungsoo losing his mind like this, he himself can’t stop blurting out:

“You are contacting that Myunghoon guy, don’t you?”

Kyungsoo widens his eyes in disbelief, “Do not turn this to me!”

“I see your inbox that you get a lot of text messages from him! I hear you talking to him on the phone that one night! You are the one cheating on me, aren’t you?”

Kyungsoo pushes his on his shoulder, “Fuck you! You can’t be serious to say that I’m cheating when I’m taking care of your child for the whole day!”

“And you can’t be serious to say that I’m the one who cheat when all I do is to work in the office! What do you want from this conversation, Kyungsoo? What?!”

His shorter husband snorts at his words before glaring at his with piercing eyes.

“You know what? Let’s just get the divorce papers ready.”











It’s silly when he thinks back on what they argue about before he is saying about divorcing.

The lesson he gets from this is: never make a rash decision when you are angry. It makes you move on impulse and not with your brain.

See where his impulse decision takes him now?

Single and with a three year old kid.

And completely empty in his heart.

This is affecting him in every aspect. Even Jaemin is affected by his decision. The boy is deprived by his father’s affection and Kyungsoo can’t even know how to apologize to his son on how much he is sorry for taking him away from his Papa.

He knows how much Jaemin is missing Jongin because sometimes he finds Jaemin staring at the tiger stuffed doll he gets from his Papa when they go to the arcade that one time. The boy loves that tiger so much because as he says: Tiger will protect Jae like Papa does!

Kyungsoo knows as well that,

Not only Jaemin who misses Jongin,

But he is, too.











Jongin is a loyal man. He knows it. Kyungsoo knows it because even before they get together, never once has Jongin left him alone. He will always be by his side and even restricting him from befriending other people.

Kyungsoo knows that Jongin is also having a bit of trust issue.

He is afraid that Kyungsoo will love him less and then will find someone better than him. First when they are still young and that Myunghoon guy is hitting on Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo knows that Myunghoon is hitting on him but he makes sure to show that he is not interested in having romantic relationship with him. He will only be his friend and nothing more. He is too much in love with Jongin to even think of having a relationship with someone else.

Jongin is a coward.

He has been waiting for Jongin to make a move for like so long and he ends up burning him in the fire of jealousy with repeating Myunghoon’s name over and over again. It’s cute to see Jongin getting angry because his eyes will get rounder and his lips will get thinner. His ears will be red and his body will be trembling.

And when Jongin kisses him on that day, Kyungsoo sighs internally.

Finally.

This slow boy.

And Kyungsoo also knows that their divorcement is also because of him.

He meets Myunghoon again when he is out doing groceries with Jaemin in his arm. It’s hard to recognize Myunghoon but when he does, he feels every sort of nostalgia hitting him. He might not be interested in having a romantic relationship with him years ago but that doesn’t mean that he is not a good friend.

Myunghoo is a married man with two daughters and Kyungsoo congratulates him for the upcoming third baby. It’s just that they decide to contact each other again because Myunghoon is in need of a bigger house with nursery room and Kyungsoo might know some friends who can help him.

It’s not like he is cheating with him, no, eww.

Myunghoo is a father of three and… he is ugly now.

But maybe because Jongin has a bit of trust issue that it hits him so bad that he thinks Kyungsoo is cheating on him and will leave him alone. Jongin is a bit of scaredy cat and coward.



Kyungsoo then realizes that Jongin is a very, very loyal man to him.

He has never even looked when a pretty woman walks beside them in the mall. Or when the waitress is trying to flirt with him by showing her boobs. Or when a very young and pretty guy blatantly shows his interest on Jongin.

No. Jongin has never glanced his eyes away from Kyungsoo.

Now he feels really bad.

Kyungsoo knows that while Jongin is having a bit of trust issue, he himself has a bit of problem in tolerance.

He is always blaming everything on Jongin, be it something small or something huge.

When it’s something small, Jongin will always laugh it off.

And when it’s something serious and big, Jongin will try to deny that, no, it’s not his fault and Kyungsoo will keep blaming him for the rest of the day, but then he will apologize to him in the next day.

Now that he thinks about their divorcement, he realizes that he is accusing Jongin in cheating on him because of the spur of the moment. He might have seen that pretty secretary of Jongin on where he works, and he must admit that she is very pretty even to a gay man like him. She is pretty and tall and her skin is pale white. Her eyes are big, her nose is pointy, and her lips are shiny with the color of rosy pink.

But he has never seen Jongin talked to her other than about work.

Fuck.

He screws up.

And he is so late.



Or is he?











It’s another sunny day where Kyungsoo is fidgeting on the bench because Jaemin is keep asking for his Papa and Jongin will be here in less than fifteen minutes.

“Where is Papa? I want to see him.” Jaemin nags, pouty lips resembling Jongin’s form an even bigger pout.

Kyungsoo sighs and runs his fingers along his son’s black locks.

“Papa will be here soon. Sit still and finish your milk, Jae.”

Jaemin lets out a sound akin to grunting, before he begrudgingly grabs the half empty box of milk and sips from the straw. A drop of milk slips from the corner of his mouth and Kyungsoo quickly wipes it before it trails down to his neck. Jaemin is ticklish with liquid trailing on his skin.

A moment of silence passes by the father and son, as Jaemin finds a new entertainment with playing on the game in Kyungsoo’s phone.

The sun shining down on him is blocked all so suddenly by a tall shadow and when Kyungsoo looks up, he feels his breath is stuck in his throat.

Because Jongin is standing there.











“Hey.” Jongin winces internally at the awkward sound escaping his mouth. Is that all he got after a year of separation from his ex-husband?

He feels his toes are fidgeting inside of his shoes as seconds pass by with Kyungsoo’s silence.

“Hi.” Kyungsoo whispers back, feeling silly to even act so shy in front of the only male he has ever loved so much.

Their eyes lock together for the shortest time and no one find the courage to break the contact.







It’s so clear; the feeling.

They wonder why they divorced. It’s absurd because everyone, even themselves, could see just how much in love they are still in with each other.



“Dada? Papa?” Their sunshine babbles, gripping onto both of their shirt and tugs on them.

All patterns are broken and Jongin finds himself crouching down to scoop his boy up into his arms.

“Hey there, big boy.”

Jaemin giggles and presses a kiss against his mouth. Kyungsoo feels his heart clenches at the sight.

“Papa, I miss you so much. I want to see you play at the monkey bars!” He points towards the spot where no one is occupying.

Jongin nods and adjusts his hold on his son, nodding to every single word and blabber he does. Spurt of saliva and drool trails down on the boy’s lips and he laughs before wiping it away with his sleeve.

“You want to go there now?” He offers and he gets a high pitched giggle from the boy.

He glances at his ex-husband who is standing there stiffly.

“Are… are you coming?” Jongin asks hesitantly, afraid to make the wrong move.

Kyungsoo jolts in surprise, too engrossed with the beautiful sight of Jaemin snuggling into his father’s warmth, before nodding his head.

“Yes, I- yes. Go ahead.”

Jongin gives him a soft nod before he is carrying a snuggling Jaemin in his arms, towards the monkey bars he desires the most.

Kyungsoo sighs as he rubs his face with his palms.

Oh right. It’s finally the day for Jaemin to spend with his complete parents.











“…and then Dada makes me that banana pancakes even though he refuses to!”

Jongin chuckles and nods his head to everything his son is talking about. Most of the time it’s hard to understand what Jaemin is talking, but with experience, he finally knows that Jaemin doesn’t need an answer and just only need a listener.

He misses his son so bad, because he has just gotten back from the important office trip yesterday which takes place for two weeks. Jaemin gives him some phone calls once in a while and it’s enough to make Jongin feels refreshed and high spirited to finish the rest of his work.

He glances at the other side of the bench where he sees Kyungsoo is sitting on. They sit on the same bench but it feels like they have so many gaps between them.

“Dada, water,” Jaemin asks, waist twisting to his daddy while arms still locked around Jongin’s neck.

Kyungsoo grabs the yellow water bottle with dinosaur stickers on it before giving it to his son. Jaemin is so thirsty; of course, he talks for the span of thirty minutes.

The boy makes a sound close to satisfied as he relishes his dry throat with the refreshing water. It makes Jongin laughs at how adorable his son is and he plays with his cheeks. The cackles Jaemin lets out are enough to make him content for the rest of the day.

The boy sees other kids playing in the sandbox and he demands to be put down.

“I want to go there.” He blabbers, chubby finger pointing towards the sandbox.

“Of course, of course. Be careful. Papa will be here, okay?”

Jaemin nods distractedly before he runs, or most likely waddles, towards the sandbox and soon he forgets about his parents.



It’s so silence once their son leaves them alone.

Jongin gulps and plays with the sleeve of his shirt.

He doesn’t see the movement of Kyungsoo to start a conversation so he stays silent.



They don’t want to talk.

But they have so much to talk about.

They have so many things to be cleared.







“So, how are you?” Jongin decides that it will be better to make a friendly conversation to clear the awkward atmosphere between them.

It seems like Kyungsoo doesn’t expect him to talk and he flinches in surprise.

“Uh, fine. You?”

Jongin gazes down onto his fingers.

“Tired, but okay.”

Kyungsoo feels the urge to ask about what makes him tired, but he swallows it back and ends up nodding his head.

“Jaemin, he… wants you for everyday.” He says, playing with the zipper of the bag he is bringing. He can feel Jongin’s stare on the side of his face yet he feels too coward to even glance to him.

Jongin takes a deep breath.

“I’m glad but I feel so sorry for him. I’m happy that he wants me; it shows that he doesn’t forget me. But I feel guilty because I can’t be there with him when he wants me to.”

Once again, Kyungsoo feels his chest constricts in pain.

Who is he to deny his child from his father’s affection?



Their gaze wanders to their little sunshine who is now playing so well all alone in the sandbox while other kids go play other games.

Jaemin is so cute. His soft black locks shine under the reflection of the sun and his fingers are dirty from the sand but his joyous giggles are enough to make their day better.



Jongin feels like he is missing so much about his son’s life.

He wants to hold Jaemin in his arms all the time, playing hide and seek with him, coloring pictures with random colors, watching cartoons and laughing at the silly jokes, just everything a father does with their child.

And he also wants to… have Kyungsoo waking him up in the morning with kisses, just like a year ago, having breakfast together and sipping onto each other’s coffee or juice, stealing kisses when Jaemin is too distracted.



With that in mind, he dares himself to start.







“You know,” Jongin starts, grabbing Kyungsoo’s attention while they are watching Jaemin plays by himself on the sandbox. He tries his best to hide his quivering voice because God knows how nervous he is and how much he is trembling by now.

“Yes?” Kyungsoo keeps his eyes on their son, unable to make eye contact with him. Just with his mere presence is enough to make his heart goes twisting here and there.

“It’s been a year since, you know.” He whispers, just loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear.

Yes, it’s clear enough. The both of them know what the topic is.

Kyungsoo stays silent.

“And,” Jongin feels his hands shake.

He has to continue this.

“People always say that it’s hard for you to let go of your first love.” Jongin states softly, voice calm but full of sorrow. It’s true though. There is no day without him thinking about how perfect his life used to be.

Kyungsoo grips onto the bag on his lap as he snaps his head towards Jongin who is now staring blatantly at him. Oh how heavy that stare is.

“And my first love is you, Kyungsoo. I still can’t let you go up until now.”



Kyungsoo finds himself closing his eyes at the intensity of the words. He is happy, so happy that Jongin is still as much in love with him.

But what do they do?

They are divorced now.



“Kyungsoo, I…”

He hears Jongin’s voice starts again and Kyungsoo unconsciously glances away from him. This is too much for him. He doesn’t know when he will snap and end up kissing the daylight out of his ex-husband.



Jongin thinks it’s rejection.



“Papa! Look, look!” Jaemin’s voice shouts for him and Jongin sighs.

“Never mind. I’m sorry for making you… uncomfortable.” He whispers dejectedly, before standing up and running to his son.

Kyungsoo opens his eyes in surprise because when does he show that he is uncomfortable?



He sees Jongin patting Jaemin on his head while the boy blabbers about the sand castle he is building.

Kyungsoo feels like he is screwing something again.











“Papa, no,” Jaemin sniffles, tiny fingers gripping onto his coat and Jongin feels himself in pain.

“I have to go, big boy. Don’t cry, okay?”

“I don’t want you to go!” The boy cries, wailing loudly and Jongin has to cradle the boy into his arms, whispering soothing words to calm him down.

Kyungsoo grips onto his bag.

The sight of his child crying for his father is so painful that he himself wants to cry.

Then again, who is he to deny his child from his father’s love?



“You can get inside with us,” he whispers, eyes locked firmly onto Jongin who is staring at him in shock.

“What?”

“Just… get in. Come on.” He nods his head towards the door before he goes to unlock it.

He hears Jongin’s hesitant footsteps following after him and how Jaemin’s sobs are reduced down as soon as they get nearer to the door.

It used to be their house but after they divorce, Jongin tells him to keep the house to make sure that he and Jaemin will be comfortable, while he himself moves out and finds a new place.

Kyungsoo knows where Jongin is staying right now. He is renting a small apartment near his office and let him tells you that the place is… not good for living. Too many cars drive around there and the place is also too noisy with honking sounds and constructions machines.



Jaemin is gripping onto his coat as Jongin sits down onto the couch. He remembers this couch. He gets this on sale.

The boy is slowly dozing off against his chest and Jongin watches his son in adoration. Who knows such an adorable boy is the product of his?

“You can put him down into his room.” Kyungsoo says from the door of the kitchen and Jongin nods.

The short walk from the living room towards his son’s room is filled with nostalgia and memories. Jongin finds himself smiling bitterly.

Jaemin is fast asleep as soon as he puts him down under the comforter. Guess playing in the park for hours and crying make him exhausted.

After he places tender kisses all over his son’s face and with whispers of I love you, Jongin walks out from the room and heads back to the living room to gather his messenger bag and go back to his empty and cold apartment.



“Let’s talk.” Kyungsoo’s voice stops him from walking towards the front door.

Jongin blinks in surprise, not expecting this because Kyungsoo has always seemed to avoid having long conversation with him.

“Sit down. Be comfortable.” He is instructed to sit back on the couch and a cup of milk tea is in his hand in a matter of second. Jongin blinks; Kyungsoo still remembers his favorite.

With his ex-husband sitting right beside him on the couch and under the dimly lit of living room light, they sip onto the drink in silence.

“I’m sorry, because we seem to get into misunderstanding for all the time.” Kyungsoo starts.

Jongin can only nod his head, not knowing what to answer.

“And about that night,” he continues in a non specific way, but Jongin seems to understand what he means.

The night he announces to get the divorce files ready.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. We are tired and you are tired from working. I should have been more understanding. And I’m truly sorry for accusing you on cheating. It’s my entire fault.”

Jongin is shocked, because he doesn’t expect to hear an apology from Kyungsoo.

As far as he knows, Kyungsoo is the most hard-headed person. It’s hard to hear apology coming from his mouth and to hear that he is apologizing for that certain day, makes Jongin’s hope increases.

“I… it’s my fault, too. I can’t seem to trust you enough. I-I meet Myunghoon last winter and, and he tells me to thank you for your help in finding him the perfect house. His wife is happy.” Jongin says, feeling guilty for also accusing Kyungsoo in cheating when in fact he is only being a good friend.

“You know,” Kyungsoo puts the cup onto the coffee table and then he continues with, “I always act on impulse. I feel so angry at myself because I always blame everything on you and I disappoint myself and you about the divorce. It seems like I see this marriage as something so light.”

It’s really satisfying. To be able to talk about what’s bugging in his mind for the whole year after they separate ways. It’s great to talk what disturbs him the most and also to hear what Jongin is thinking.

“I don’t want you to be unhappy, Kyungsoo. I know we fight a lot and, and sometimes we don’t really understand each other but I just want you to have a good life and if… if there was no me in it, then I would step back, really.”

No, don’t say that. Kyungsoo grips onto his own fingers as he hears Jongin says that.

“I don’t… this is not what I want, Jongin. I… we- Jaemin and me want you to stay. I feel so bad for taking Jaemin away from you and pushing you away from Jaemin just because of my stubbornness and, and… and, Jongin, please say something.” He pleads.

Jongin seems to be thinking very deeply at what he has just said.

“Do you think it’s possible for me to go back to you two? I’m not a good father and good husband. It’s proved a year ago.” He says, voice strained.

Kyungsoo gaps as he hears Jongin doubting himself. With his shaky fingers, he reaches for Jongin’s hand and gives it a squeeze.

“You are the best father Jaemin can ask for. And you are the best husband I can ask for.”

Jongin stares into his eyes for a moment before a small smile breaks onto his mouth.

Kyungsoo swoons. It has been a while since the last time he sees that smile.



Shamelessly, he crawls closer and drops himself unceremoniously on top of Jongin’s lap, getting so close that their breaths mingle together.

Jongin doesn’t seem to mind because his hands come up to hold him on his hips to steady him.

“I miss you.” Jongin is the first to say that.

Kyungsoo feels his heart flutters.

“I miss you more.” He replies, pressing his forehead against the other’s.

Jongin pulls him close before he takes the initiative to close the gap between their lips.



The sensation sends Kyungsoo flying to cloud nine. He misses this. He misses those lips and he misses Jongin’s warmth the most.

Lips mold together gently, testing the water, and simply just to relish the feeling of being able to do this again. Oh, how many nights has Jongin imagined to be able to hold the love of his life like this and to be able to kiss him like this.

“Kyungsoo,” he draws back to whisper his name, but a whine from the male on top of his lap makes him stills as Kyungsoo dives forward to lock their lips together again.

Soft sighs escape from the both of them and Jongin relaxes even more when he feels fingers dragging along his hair, massaging his scalp just the way he likes it.

“I love you,” he blurts out, stopping Kyungsoo from everything.

Jongin stills. Does he cross the line again?

Kyungsoo stares into his eyes before cupping his cheeks gently, “I love you, too. I always have.”

That’s enough for Jongin to press their mouth again for another kiss and Kyungsoo sighs contently into his mouth.

The feeling of Jongin’s lips is pulling back all the good and bad memories they have and Kyungsoo needs to be honest with himself now. He wants Jongin to be a part of his life again. It’s already really hard to not have him for a year and for him to listen to Jaemin calling for Jongin’s name for everyday makes him realizes that, yes, they need Jongin.

“Please come back to me. To us.” He manages to whisper against Jongin’s plump mouth and he leans back to stare into those eyes.

Jongin is gazing gently at him, eyes speaking a thousand meaning of love.

“I will be very happy to be able to come back to you two. Only if you really wanted it.”

Kyungsoo nods his head eagerly, whispering rounds of ‘yes’ again and again before crashing his mouth on top of Jongin’s in a harsher way.

Muffled soft moans escaping his own lips make Kyungsoo feels that this is where he belongs. Right in Jongin’s arms.

“Jongin- please, ah,” he mewls softly when one of Jongin’s hands creeps down to fondle his soft bottom.

One year. One freaking year without Jongin’s touch is enough to drive him crazy.



Kyungsoo leans back a bit, detaching Jongin’s mouth away from his jaw, only to pull his shirt over his head. He likes the way Jongin’s eyes are shamelessly gazing over his unblemished skin.

“Touch me. Come on.” He demands, grabbing Jongin’s hands to press them against his chest.

Jongin takes no more second to waste and drags his rough fingers along his skin, his lips following after the trace of his hands soon.

Kyungsoo throws his head back, eyes lidded and fingers gripping tightly to the collar of shirt Jongin is still wearing. He needs to get it off. Now.

With a rough movement, he manages to get Jongin out of that damn shirt and he scrambles down to his knees to unbuckle his pants. The other is waiting on the couch, panting and naked by now, as Kyungsoo trails kisses along Jongin’s thighs and getting nearer to his crotch.

“Soo,”

“Enjoy this, Jongin-ah,” he whispers, hands grabbing a hold onto the semi hardening erection and Jongin makes a grunting sound.

One fucking year without this. How can he even survive?

Kyungsoo has his erection deep inside his mouth by the time he is coming back from wondering on how he can live without Kyungsoo and it takes his no long before he is bursting into his throat.

The look Kyungsoo sends him when he is licking his cock clean is such a lustful one and Jongin groans, grabbing him up by his arms and pushing the rest of the clothes down to the floor, not really caring whether they will wrinkle or not.

His palms fondle with the plump ass cheeks and Kyungsoo lets out a soft whimper, before whispering ‘hurry up’. Jongin turns him around before he is not the one on his knees against the floor.

Kyungsoo gives him a questioning look from above his shoulder. He grips onto the back of the couch, chest pressing against the rough surface and knees bent aside. He wonders what Jongin is planning by kneeling on the floor and behind him—oh.

His mouth hangs open when Jongin’s breath hits his lower back and he anticipates this. A soft kiss is placed against his butt cheek before those familiar palms spread his ass apart.

It’s warm and wet as Jongin licks him, making Kyungsoo squirms and leaning forward against the back rest of the couch. His fingers grip onto it tightly and when Jongin starts sucking, he loses his mind.

“J-Jongin- ah, w-wait—nnghh,”

The tight grip on each side of his hips prevents him from moving away. Kyungsoo can feel his body is trembling in stimulation and he gasps on each passing second because Jongin just loves eating him out even from years ago.

It only takes five minutes but Kyungsoo feels like losing his mind as he feels the wet sensation on his behind. When Jongin leans back and moves around, Kyungsoo glances through his shoulder, and only to moan when he sees Jongin running his hand up and down along his hard shaft.

“Are you sure, Kyungsoo?” He asks with his hoarse voice.

“Yes, yes,” he nods instantly, jutting his bottom out and he relishes in the feeling of warmth when Jongin joins him back to sit on the couch just behind him.

Warm fingers trail along the inside of his thigh before he finally moans out when he feels the press of Jongin’s blunt cock tip against his entrance.

“Ah,”

The feeling is burning and it hurts, because he hasn’t had anything up in his ass for about a year, not even his own fingers. He only wants Jongin.

The cock settles deep inside of him, unmoving but twitching uncontrollably. Kyungsoo gasps on the couch’s back rest and he relishes in the warmth Jongin’s chest is radiating against his own back.

“Move, Jongin, please.”

And move he does.

Kyungsoo gasps on each drag and push between Jongin’s erection and his inner walls. It feels like they have just made love for the first time yesterday, because he can’t even understand on how Jongin manages to make him feels different sensations on each time they do the deed.

They move in sync and even get faster after a moment, because Kyungsoo is clenching tightly around him and Jongin is just impatient.

They do a quick making love on the couch before Kyungsoo throws his head back against Jongin’s shoulder and shoots his come onto the couch, not caring about the stain. He jerks up as he is filled with the same warmth he loves the most, and soon, they are breathing heavily after they come back from their high.

“You okay?” Jongin asks against his ear, pecking onto it gently.

Kyungsoo nods. Yes, he is more than okay.

“…pull out and grab the clothes. I need to lay down.” He mutters breathlessly and Jongin obeys him almost immediately.



The appearance of the master bedroom is still the same as Jongin pushes the door open, with Kyungsoo in his arms.

He can see the closet is still on the right side of the door. The mirror is still beside it. The bathroom door’s paint hasn’t been changed. And the bed, it still uses the same bed sheets they get after their wedding.

He puts Kyungsoo down onto the soft bed and he closes the door. Kyungsoo is grabbing onto his wrist as soon as he gets back to the bed and they lie together in silence.

“Have you met anyone for the whole year?” Jongin asks all too suddenly, breaking the calm atmosphere in their cuddling session.

Kyungsoo glances at him, “No. I can’t bring myself to see someone else because all I can see is you.”

The answer is enough to make him feels better.

“My co-workers are trying to get me into blind dates a couple of times,” Jongin starts without being asked. He feels Kyungsoo stiffens under his arms and he tightens his hold around him to reassure him.

“And I reject every offer. I’m still too much in love and too whipped for you, that’s why.”

Kyungsoo turns to see his face better before he kisses his lips softly.

“I’m sorry, Jongin.”

“Please don’t start with another round of apology. We have had enough. All we need to do is to make up for the lost time.” He caresses Kyungsoo’s cheek with his thumb and he loves the way Kyungsoo closes his eyes when he does that.

“Do you want to start making up for the lost time now?”

“How?” Jongin sends him a questioning look.

“Like this.” Kyungsoo sits up straight before sitting up on his lap.

Jongin gasps when he feels Kyungsoo grinds against his thighs.

“Soo, you don’t mean –”

“Yes. I’m going to ride you. We like this position the most.” He answers, a hand massaging Jongin’s erection to its full hardness before he is impaling himself on it.

Jongin throws his head back, yes, they love riding the most. He loves seeing Kyungsoo having fun and Kyungsoo loves being in control once in a while.

It’s slow but steady this time. Jongin can’t help but to only stare as Kyungsoo moves his hips up and down, fingers clutching on his chest, and thighs trembling from the pleasure.

He can see the slow drag of his penis in and out of that reddening entrance, even though the light in the bedroom is dark. Jongin trails his own fingers up to touch Kyungsoo’s nipples, before pinching them sensually just like how Kyungsoo loves it.

“Jongin, fuck,”

“I love you so much. You don’t even know how empty I feel for the whole year without you and our son in my arms. I’m hoping that you will want to take me back for everyday.” Jongin mutters as he keeps his eyes on the love of his life moving his hips.

Kyungsoo blinks away the tears of pleasure from his eyes to take a better look on the male under him.

“I love you. I spend everyday to regret my decision of divorcing you and I’m punishing myself by hugging onto your hoodie you leave here a year ago.”

Jongin chuckles softly, thumbing his cheek.

“We are silly, no?”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo whispers through his trembling lips before he bends down to kiss Jongin fully on his mouth.

“Can you promise me something, Jongin?”

“Yeah? Anything.” Jongin whispers back against his mouth.

“Please don’t ever leave me again even if I told you to. I don’t think I can handle it.”

Jongin sends him a gentle look and he kisses his mouth again.

“I promise. Please trust me and try to keep up with my stupidity.”

Kyungsoo nods and smiles into the kiss.











The morning comes shining through the curtains and Jongin shifts awake from his sleep.

He thinks he is dreaming as soon as he opens his eyes and stares at the familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling, but when he feels the steady breathing from Kyungsoo just sleeping beside him, he realizes then everything is not a mere dream.

It’s real.

Kyungsoo wants him back.

A giddy smile forms on his lips and he watches Kyungsoo sleeps for a longer time because he has lost a year chance to do this.

When he sees that Kyungsoo stirs after a few more minutes, he decides to wake him up completely with kisses.

One kiss on his forehead, each one on his eyes, one on his wriggling nose, and one on his rosy lips.

He hears soft chuckle coming from Kyungsoo and hands coming up to tangle with his messy hair.

“Morning.” He greets, pecking Kyungsoo on the base of his neck.

Kyungsoo sends him a sleepy smile before pulling him down to kiss his mouth.

“Good morning, Jongin. It’s nice to see you again after I wake up for so long.”

“I feel so refreshed. Let me tell you that I love you as the first thing in the morning.” Jongin whispers, trailing kisses down to his bare neck then to his chest.

The soft laughs coming from Kyungsoo makes Jongin sighs in delight and he stops when his mouth comes in contact with the scar on Kyungsoo’s stomach.

“I miss kissing this scar.” He mutters against the skin.

It’s the scar from when he is delivering Jaemin. It’s a scar that remains them that Jaemin is really their son. It’s the scar that makes them remember that they love one another.

“I miss having you kissing the scar.” Kyungsoo responses softly.

Jongin lifts his head up and smiles, opening his mouth to say something but when he hears some padding of tiny legs against the floor, he scrambles up and grabs his boxers.

“Dada! Open! Open!” Jaemin’s voice rings from the outside, little fists knocking on the wood.

Jongin sighs in relief that Jaemin is still too short to even reach the door handle and it can give them the time to get dressed.

“Dada!”

Once he makes sure that the both of them are decent enough to greet their son, Jongin opens the door and is met with the tumbling boy against his knees.

Jaemin looks up and Jongin sends him an amused, teasing stare.

“Papa?”

“Yes, Jae?”

The boy babbles, fingers pointing at him then at Kyungsoo on the bed then to the direction of the living room or maybe door, then back to Jongin again.

“Papa here!” He screeches loudly, hugging Jongin on his knees.

“Yes, yes, I’m here.” Jongin says to him, lifting him up into his arms.

“Dada! Papa! Papa here! Us!”

Kyungsoo nods and pats Jaemin on his head when Jongin brings him up.

“Are you happy that Papa is here with us again?”

“Yes!!” Jaemin wails in happiness, bouncing on the bed before tackling Kyungsoo into a hug.



Kyungsoo laughs at his act before hugging his son close to him, peppering kisses all over his face.

As Jongin hears the laugh from Kyungsoo and the giggling sounds from Jaemin, he thinks that nothing has ever been more beautiful than this.









***








A/N: Sorry this take so long. It's more than five months since the foreword was posted. Simply to say, I lost my muse in writing this months ago after, you know, that news. But I have to finish everything I have started and I won't leave you guys hanging, so hope you enjoy this. Thanks for reading and please leave a comment or two :)