Indestructible Chap. 6 : Kibum

[kumo_is_kumo]

Title: Indestructible

Pairing: SHINee-OT5; Jongkey; hinted!2min

Genre: Friendship, Angst, Drama, Slice of life, Semi-Romance

Length: Series

Summary: Jinki and Jonghyun got hurt because of him. Minho and Taemin left because of him. What was the use of living for Kibum? There was nothing left to him. Or that was what he used to think until four people that he loved the most were coming back. This was a story of broken friendship between five young boys who tried to mend the bond once again.

Chapter 6: Kibum



Being alone was one of the things that Kibum hated. He didn’t like it even one bit. He had been alone for a while, with his mother working for the Lee family, Kibum had no one to play with.

But then he was so lucky to meet Jinki. The older boy showed him that he didn’t mind with being friend with the filthy Kibum. He understood what filth was now. He had asked about the meaning to his mother on one night and when his mother explained it to him, Kibum held himself back from crying. So that was what he was named with.

Jinki didn’t mind that he was filth. He remembered asking about it to Jinki while there were only the two of them. Kibum was helping his mother with bringing the basket containing the dirty clothes of the Lee family. He bumped onto something soft yet solid and when Kibum removed the big basket away from his sight, he was greeted with a smiling Jinki. He had asked him about being friends with his filthy self at that moment and Jinki frowned, flicking his finger on his head. Kibum stepped back in pain and whimpered, listening to Jinki about not saying anything like this again in the future. He would always be his friend forever.

And he held onto his promise.

Jinki was always the one who was there for him. Maybe because Jinki was the first one he met, that was why he felt this deep connection to him.

Kibum lost his mother when he was 18. He cried himself to sleep; he refused to eat as he locked himself in his place. Not even Taemin could coax him to go out and ate something, but when Jinki got back from his class and knocked on the door worriedly, Kibum opened the door and hugged him tight.

It was already two years since those boys kept on coming to his shabby place. Kibum couldn’t ask for more.

Taemin was so adorable that Kibum couldn’t get his hands off from him, trying various hairstyles onto the younger boy. Minho was always there to argue with him, telling him to stop making Taemin into a weird person, and played his role as the protective hyung again and again. Jinki would always laugh while watching at them bickering; he didn’t know why that old man kept on laughing his ass off without stopping them from ripping each other’s throat. And then there was Jonghyun.

Kibum knew he had felt something different to this one. The first time he met Jinki, the older boy was showing the aura of kindness. Taemin gave off the aura of adorableness. Minho gave off his charismatic and politeness. He didn’t know how but even though his first meeting with Jonghyun was far from peaceful, they argued even from the very first time, but being with the older boy gave him this comfortable feeling.

Sometimes Kibum found his mind debating with himself, about telling Jonghyun that he liked him, a lot, or should he just let it go and kept this friendship remained. He sighed, telling his brain to get their self together.

It was one day when Kibum got his class canceled. He got a message from Taemin, full of colorful emoticons with the words ‘Hyung, can I ask for two boxes of banana milk? I craved for it since last night and I didn’t have time to get it! I’m coming to your place after school!’

Kibum didn’t have the heart to say no to this cutie pie so in the end, he bought him a package of six boxes of banana milk. Taemin would like it a lot, thought Kibum while staring at the said milk on top of the table.

He spotted the sight of the new soccer game CD beside it. He got it for Minho when he was searching for that precious CD that Jinki wanted for a while already. The older boy was throwing a tantrum when the CD was sold out a month ago. Finding it was such a pure luck for Kibum.

Kibum remembered talking in the phone with Jinki, chatting and laughing while waiting for the older boy to come to his place. But then suddenly he heard a loud crash and before he could ask for what was going on, the call was ended. Kibum had a lot of scenarios playing in his mind.

Jonghyun called him and Kibum blabbered in panicinto the phone. Jonghyun came and brought him to Jinki, and Kibum couldn’t help but blame himself. It happened because Jinki was on the phone with him. If he didn’t call than Jinki would be fine, would be beside him thanking him for the CD he had gotten him.

The sight of Jonghyun’s depressed face was so sad to see, but when Taemin came, Kibum felt the urge to cry was harder than before. Taemin was Jinki’s brother, his real brother. How did Kibum expect him to forgive him? Taemin would never forgive him.

He had pushed Taemin away, saying that everything was his fault between his sobbing but the younger boy only hugged him and they cried together. Minho was staring at them from where he was standing; sadness was clear in his eyes.

Mrs. Lee came and landed a hit to him. Kibum couldn’t help but cried more even though he knew he deserved more than the simple hit. The stinging pain on his cheek was enough to bring him back to the reality that he was the cause of everything.

The doctor told them that Jinki was in coma, and Kibum could at least breathe a bit. But he still couldn’t forgive himself if something happened to Jinki.

When a few men grabbed him away, Kibum knew that they were Mrs. Lee’s people. He deserved this, he knew. He deserved to be beaten up, beaten up to death.

He didn’t expect Jonghyun to follow them. He had this selfish relieved feeling in his chest but he didn’t want Jonghyun to be involved in this. Jonghyun wouldn’t hear him and he ended up took the beating on himself.

Kibum screamed when Jonghyun hugged him tightly, not letting him go even though he was badly hurt. The men hit Jonghyun on his head, and he fell unconscious. They were scared of the possibility of someone knew this and they ran away. Kibum hugged him close, crying loudly before he lost his consciousness as well.

His eyes opened when he heard people talking around him. He found himself ended up in the hospital again, and he cried when he knew that Jonghyun was hurt because of him. Again.

Both Mrs. Lee and Mrs. Kim came up to him, dragging him out while insulting him with the words that he used to hear before. Kibum made no effort to break free from the security’s hold. He better got away from them. He would only bring them bad luck.



Two weeks passed while Taemin was calling him everyday, giving him every news about Jinki and Jonghyun. Kibum could only hum into the phone, listening to Taemin’s fake-calm voice when he knew the youngest was so troubled.

Jonghyun woke up a few days after Taemin’s last call. The news made Kibum so happy but when he heard Minho’s hesitant voice, he knew something was wrong.

Jonghyun couldn’t remember anything about him. Only Kibum.

His mother was delighted with the news. He could erase the filth out from Jonghyun’s memory and she made no effort to make Jonghyun remembered his life before.

His heart sank down at the thought of Jonghyun forgetting him. He couldn’t stand that. But then when he asked Taemin about that, the youngest boy could only sob into the phone, not able to give him the answer. Kibum hung up the call, crying to himself under his blanket.

Jonghyun forgot him.

It was another month since the last time Kibum saw his friends when suddenly he got the hurried message from Minho. It only contained: Jinki awake paralyzed America Taemin me forced abroad.

Kibum quickly connected all the dots, worrying why would Minho send a blurred message like that. He tried to call him, but Kibum could never reach him. Taemin was the same.

Jinki hyung was getting paralyzed and he was sent to America to heal. Minho and Taemin were forced to go to study abroad. Jonghyun lost his memory.

Then what was it for Kibum to live anymore? He had no one except the four of them. If they were gone, Kibum lost his light.



Kibum tried to remind himself to stay strong. Jinki would be back all healthy. Minho and Taemin would be back soon after they finished their study. Jonghyun would remember him soon and they could be friend again. That was what Kibum had repeated in his mind for the whole first year.

He still couldn’t get in touch with Taemin or Minho. He still didn’t get any news about Jinki. And Jonghyun was still losing the memory of him.

Kibum continued going to study. He remembered Jinki hyung said that he should never give him. Jinki hyung said Kibum was a smart kid and he should finish his study no matter what happened. Kibum wanted to fulfill that promise, but why should he when there was no one he could show about it to?

He dropped out from his study after a year, trying to find a proper job with his current high-school graduated state. The only job he could find was as an employee on the small market near his place. Kibum was more than happy to know that at least he could still get a job.

He tried to smile in front of a mirror, trying to see the dimples that Taemin loved the most but he couldn’t find any power to smile in his condition. There were no Taemin to brighten his day, no Jinki hyung to tell him what to do, no Minho to warn him about something bad, and no Jonghyun to warm him when he was cold and drenched from the rain.

Kibum knew why Minho and Taemin were forced to study abroad. They were the only remaining children in their family, with Jinki hyung being like this and Minho as the only son. He knew that the Lee and the Choi hissed at him when he got any closer with them. Kibum knew that the Lee sent Taemin and the Choi sent Minho away from him because they wanted to avoid any other ‘bad luck’ from Kibum. For them, Kibum was like a disease.



The second year when Kibum tried to stay alive, he saw the breaking news on the magazine. The only heir of the Kim Construction had a girlfriend. Kibum stared blankly at the picture of Jonghyun holding someone else’s hand in his. No longer Kibum’s but that girl’s hand.

Kibum lost hope at that time. Even after two years Jonghyun still hadn’t been able to remember even a bit of him. Maybe deep inside him heart, Jonghyun didn’t want to remember him. So, Kibum loved him for nothing. Jonghyun never loved him back. It was a good thing he hadn’t been able to confess. It would be very embarrassing and awkward for them if he did.

Time soon stopped at his birthday again. It was the fourth year of not spending it with the four of them. Kibum sometimes wished for the sudden surprise knock on his door, with Taemin holding onto balloons, Minho holding onto the cake, Jinki hyung holding onto a gift box, and Jonghyun holding onto a bouquet of roses. Kibum waited for those four birthdays, hoping for something to happen and he wasted his time for only staring at the closed door. No one ever came for him.

He grew tired of waiting and hoping for something impossible. He no longer paid attention to how he dressed or how his skin was getting dry. He cared no more for his weight, letting it sank down in numbers. Kibum stopped paying attention to everything, avoiding of getting attach to things that would only hurt him in the end.

His once so alive eyes turned blank, no sign of life and no light in them. They were so dull that they were so similar to the eyes of dead fish. Black, dull, plain and no emotion.

Kibum was dead inside.



He was 24 when something unusual happened. Kibum slept on his thin mattress, having a dream of the four people that he used to love the most. Kibum had already forgotten as to who they were. He forgot them, emptying his mind and heart from anything that hurt him.

Kibum lived for his self. If you would call that live.

He wasted his life for years only with getting up, going to that small market to work until midnight and then got back home. The only thing that filled his hunger for years were only instant foods.



But then one morning, the door to his place was knocked. Kibum fluttered his tired eyes, head lifted from leaning on his knees while sitting down on the corner of his tiny kitchen.

It was weird. Really weird.

Kibum had no one to find him. But now there was someone knocking on his door and Kibum could hear murmured voices.

He pushed himself up with the last bit energy left in his body, dragging his tired limbs to the door. He had never locked the door. Kibum didn’t even think why he did that but his body moved on automatically. It was like his body was telling him that he was waiting for something, or more likely someone to come.



Kibum opened the door, blank eyes meeting two boys that felt hardly familiar to him. He saw both of the guests’ eyes were locked on him, shock and disgust was visible. Kibum just knew it.

He spoke, hearing his own hoarse voice since it had been a very long time since he spoke like that. The familiar faces triggered his memory and Kibum felt the slight pinch in his chest. It was just so, so familiar.

Kibum closed the door even before his mind could think for any other words to say to them. He just said that “I don’t need your pity. Go away,” when he knew he was the one who was waiting for this time to come. How long had it been?

His energy left him, Kibum felt his knees went weak and he dropped down to the dusty ground of his shoddy apartment. The warm fuzzy feeling was back. It was crawling from the bottom of his stomach up to his chest and Kibum felt something that he hadn’t felt for so long. He felt tears.

Kibum brought his hands up; slightly trembled fingers wiped the unwanted tears as he stared at the wet drops in confusion. Why was he crying?



Those guests just now... they seemed so familiar.

Kibum knew that he knew them but who were they? He hissed lowly, hands holding onto his head while teary eyes squeezed closed.

“Who...?”



Then the flashbacks were coming. Kibum could see very clearly those scenes; him holding onto a cute toddler, giving him his desirable milk, trying various hairstyles on him; him running away on the hill with a slightly taller boy, asking his name and finding out that they were on the same age, arguing over the smallest thing.



The calling knocks on his door pulled Kibum from the flashbacks and he realized that the puddle of water in front of him was from his tears. The knocking was becoming more desperate and Kibum hissed silently, bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

“Go away...”

He curled up, hugging his knees up and burying his crying face onto them. Weak sobs were leaving his dry lips as Kibum gripped onto his chest where he could feel his heart was starting to beat faster. It had been so long since he felt that.

“Go away,” hiccupped Kibum weakly.

He could hear the soft sobbing from the other side of his door, recognizing the voice was the youngest boy’s. His heart clenched, beating way out of control before Kibum forced his voice out.

“Don’t you get the part of I don’t want to see you!? Stop crying like a kid, and bring that tall freak away!”



Just for this once, Kibum would let himself cry again. Maybe just for this once.











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A/N: End of the flashback chapter, the next one will be the future chapter, and I hope you would anticipate the next <3 This one is seriously sad for me ;(

Please tell me what you think about this and until next time! ^^